This one right here, officer. He’s a menace.

Take your fucking socks and sandals and march your ass right out of my open air brick patio, sir.

liers anonymous next room

You monster! How do you even know if they’re tongy enough?

This is genuinely upsetting. How could you

You make me sick.

I can almost forgive some of these others. But I don’t understand how a person, much less a dad, could even begin to commit such an attrocity. The second I don’t click the tongs, tweezers, hell even scissors, you will know that I have been compromised.

But how do you know they are working if you don’t clack them?

I’ve always wanted to ask someone who is into doing it. Since I’ve got you here, what satisfaction do you derive from posting outright lies and falsehoods on the internet?

I clack them to the terminator theme. Even if I didn’t want to, I don’t think I could avoid it.

Is it really grilling if there’s no clacking?

You just lost grilling privileges.