So. Without trauma dumping, I’ll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What’s a father’s day gift that says “you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay”?

  • @Alice@beehaw.org
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    1010 months ago

    If you’re REALLY sure that ignoring the day would open the floodgates for retaliation, I’d text him or give a generic card. If he’s just gonna be angry and bitch at you, let him be angry and block his number.

    If you’re currently in an abusive situation and possibly in harms way I think this might be beyond Lemmy’s paygrade, since we don’t know what sets him off. But it’s OK to play nice for the short term if it keeps you safe long enough to escape.

  • Jay
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    510 months ago

    “World’s Best Dad” mug with the word “Best” crossed out?

    • half coffeeOP
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      410 months ago

      My wife suggested “number one sad” with a card explaining that he was, in fact, my first dad lol

  • @Cybermonk_Taiji@r.nf
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    1410 months ago

    Completely ignoring him for the rest of your life as you find joy in not remembering he exists. The best present.

  • Thordros [he/him, comrade/them]
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    810 months ago

    If you want to give a gift that’s simultaneously very thoughtful AND a very shitty gift: buy him a pair of knee pads. Refuse to elaborate on why you bought them.

    • half coffeeOP
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      3210 months ago

      Ooh I like this. Especially since he hates strong smells.

      • @henfredemars@infosec.pub
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        10 months ago

        Get something like Bergamont; something so few people actually genuinely like, but smells fancy with a quick whiff. Boring and unexpressive after 30 seconds.

        Alternatively, try something like cupcakes or vanilla icing. The kind of candle that would give you a headache.

        It’s also practical because the gift is cheap without looking cheap.

        I’m sorry to say that I’m speaking from personal experience.

        • half coffeeOP
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          1410 months ago

          Hm… I wonder if Walmart still has watermelon scented candles. “But dad, it smells just like summer!”

          • @henfredemars@infosec.pub
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            1010 months ago

            Oh my gosh I had those! They did actually smell good with a quick sniff, but I hated them so much I threw out the rest.

            • half coffeeOP
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              1010 months ago

              Yeah my wife loved the smell in the aisle, but it got old really fast at home lol

  • 𝘋𝘪𝘳𝘬
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    1010 months ago

    A plain white gift card with the following text maybe?

    Hello father,

    today is Father’s Day. As your son I am expected to send you a gift card at least.

    This is the gift card.

    [Your first and last name]

    • half coffeeOP
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      810 months ago

      Honestly that’s kind of what I’m thinking. Then he has to store them, and he’d feel like he had to wear them at least once. Just a little upsetting for him.

  • slazer2au
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    610 months ago

    Holiday postcard from a place he doesn’t like saying

    Wish you were here there

  • rand_alpha19
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    1610 months ago

    A short text the day after Father’s Day. Then you did send something, it just wasn’t timely or appreciative.

    That said, I generally send my shitty dad a text on the actual day. It usually just says, “Happy Father’s Day, have a good one.” Last year I forgot to send one and then, when I remembered, chose not to.

    TL;DR: do as much or as little as you want.

  • TTH4P
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    10 months ago

    Low value gift card from a local dinner place. So he has to go there to use it and then it’s only like 10 dollars and he has to fork over the rest.

      • @jsomae@lemmy.ml
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        910 months ago

        Make it 20. 10 is too obvious a slight to any onlooker. 20 still won’t cover most mains post-covid after tax and tip (depends on your region and the restaurant of course).

        • @Flummoxed@lemmy.world
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          910 months ago

          Yeah, I think something like 15 would be the perfect “fuck you” amount for something beyond Starbucks and fast food. Enough to make it worth going, but only really enough for an appetizer.

          Or be really horrible and just take one of the 50 or 100 ones for a decent restaurant, and just don’t get it activated. He won’t find out until they try to run it, I think.

          This might be the most horrible idea I’ve ever had.

          • @rbn@sopuli.xyz
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            1010 months ago

            Then he might not understand that it was on purpose. Get one for 50, have dinner there yourself for around 45 and give him the card with the few residual bucks.

    • @Glide@lemmy.ca
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      2210 months ago

      This.

      Nothing says “I have fulfilled my social obligation, but I don’t give a shit about you” more than a low value giftcard for somewhere generic.

      Alternatively, give him a halfway decent gift and feel better about yourself for not continuing the cycle of neglect, even when he won’t appreciate it. We can make the world better, even for those of us that don’t deserve it, and considering how to make it a better place as opposed to how to get back at the people who make it a worse one is just a better use of our time and energy.

      Besides, at the end of the day, truly awful people already live with the worst punishment so could imagine: having to wake up every morning and continue being themselves.