So. Without trauma dumping, I’ll simply say my dad is a bad dad. What’s a father’s day gift that says “you’re dead to me, but I’m still doing things to keep drama at bay”?
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Drugs from the darknet delivered anonymously.
A blank card.
Best thing though is what others said, nothing.
That sounds like a great gift though.
If you’re REALLY sure that ignoring the day would open the floodgates for retaliation, I’d text him or give a generic card. If he’s just gonna be angry and bitch at you, let him be angry and block his number.
If you’re currently in an abusive situation and possibly in harms way I think this might be beyond Lemmy’s paygrade, since we don’t know what sets him off. But it’s OK to play nice for the short term if it keeps you safe long enough to escape.
“World’s Best Dad” mug with the word “Best” crossed out?
My wife suggested “number one sad” with a card explaining that he was, in fact, my first dad lol
Completely ignoring him for the rest of your life as you find joy in not remembering he exists. The best present.
If you want to give a gift that’s simultaneously very thoughtful AND a very shitty gift: buy him a pair of knee pads. Refuse to elaborate on why you bought them.
Off-brand scented candle set.
It says I don’t know you at all, but here’s your present.
Ooh I like this. Especially since he hates strong smells.
Get something like Bergamont; something so few people actually genuinely like, but smells fancy with a quick whiff. Boring and unexpressive after 30 seconds.
Alternatively, try something like cupcakes or vanilla icing. The kind of candle that would give you a headache.
It’s also practical because the gift is cheap without looking cheap.
I’m sorry to say that I’m speaking from personal experience.
Jean Luc just died a little, inside.
Hm… I wonder if Walmart still has watermelon scented candles. “But dad, it smells just like summer!”
Oh my gosh I had those! They did actually smell good with a quick sniff, but I hated them so much I threw out the rest.
Yeah my wife loved the smell in the aisle, but it got old really fast at home lol
As a bonus, with those cheap candles there’s a decent chance burning them fills his house with toxicity.
Just like him!
A plain white gift card with the following text maybe?
Hello father,
today is Father’s Day. As your son I am expected to send you a gift card at least.
This is the gift card.
[Your first and last name]
Ugly socks?
Honestly that’s kind of what I’m thinking. Then he has to store them, and he’d feel like he had to wear them at least once. Just a little upsetting for him.
A mug, but the handle is too small to be comfortable
Holiday postcard from a place he doesn’t like saying
Wish you were
herethere“Wish you were here; wish I wasn’t.”
Hell, Michigan lol
A short text the day after Father’s Day. Then you did send something, it just wasn’t timely or appreciative.
That said, I generally send my shitty dad a text on the actual day. It usually just says, “Happy Father’s Day, have a good one.” Last year I forgot to send one and then, when I remembered, chose not to.
TL;DR: do as much or as little as you want.
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Low value gift card from a local dinner place. So he has to go there to use it and then it’s only like 10 dollars and he has to fork over the rest.
Pure evil.
Make it 20. 10 is too obvious a slight to any onlooker. 20 still won’t cover most mains post-covid after tax and tip (depends on your region and the restaurant of course).
Yeah, I think something like 15 would be the perfect “fuck you” amount for something beyond Starbucks and fast food. Enough to make it worth going, but only really enough for an appetizer.
Or be really horrible and just take one of the 50 or 100 ones for a decent restaurant, and just don’t get it activated. He won’t find out until they try to run it, I think.
This might be the most horrible idea I’ve ever had.
Then he might not understand that it was on purpose. Get one for 50, have dinner there yourself for around 45 and give him the card with the few residual bucks.
This.
Nothing says “I have fulfilled my social obligation, but I don’t give a shit about you” more than a low value giftcard for somewhere generic.
Alternatively, give him a halfway decent gift and feel better about yourself for not continuing the cycle of neglect, even when he won’t appreciate it. We can make the world better, even for those of us that don’t deserve it, and considering how to make it a better place as opposed to how to get back at the people who make it a worse one is just a better use of our time and energy.
Besides, at the end of the day, truly awful people already live with the worst punishment so could imagine: having to wake up every morning and continue being themselves.
Something nice, that he likes.
Anything else and you are definitely not trying to keep the drama at bay.
A “best dad” mug, but you cross out the “best”
