I got my hearing professionally checked today and all is normal. But I have difficulty hearing people I am dining with, talking in restaurants. Is it me, or is the music just too damn loud?!
Because you choose to keep going to restaurants where they play loud music. No idea why you’re doing that
This is exactly why during my solo shift I turn off the music completely. I want silence. Beautiful, delicious silence.
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I once read that it’s an epigenetic thing and it can be found across the animal kingdom. Some animals are born more sensitive and others less and this is important for the species or social group as a whole. This actually happens on a neuron level.
The less sensitive kind needs to actively search out stimulation, whereas you can leave the more sensitive one alone with a flower and they’ll be a happy camper.
And there’s so much more to it, for example developmental. Have you ever noticed the difference in sound levels in people’s homes? In some places it’s just like a warzone. TV on max, dogs barking, kids screaming. Imagine growing up with that. Like a fish in water.
And then there’s all the processing disorders…
You can train yourself though if you value it. I enjoy encounters and it bothered me a lot, so I just kept going to busy cafés and bars until my brain finally got the memo. It keeps surprising me how my hearing has become like a sort of precision microphone.
I personally avoid such places. There are many who make live music a selling point, which always plays super loud to the point where any chat can only happen by shouting into someone else’s ear. How people like this is beyond me
Pro-tip: Even in a loud place you can (and should!) speak with your normal voice (e.g. no shouting) when having your mouth an inch or two from the other person’s ear. They will hear you just fine, even if you can’t hear yourself.
Hmm. Processing disorders are a thing.
Some restaurants do have damn loud music, though. Most don’t where I live but that’s probably regional.
Everyone keeps mentioning them, but no one links to the information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auditory_processing_disorder
One of potential symptoms is indeed “Difficulty hearing in noisy environments”
I have a nice workaround: good earplugs. They lower the overall volume, and all of a sudden I can understand spoken words again. Too bad they actually increase for me the sound of my own chewing.
My work was evacuated once for a fire alarm (false) and we all kinda stood around waiting for the firemen to come and let us back in. While we waited we chatted. But I realised that I couldn’t understand what the people four feet away from me were saying. I could hear the noises coming from their mouths, but I couldn’t understand them. When the alarm was switched off, I could understand them.
Brain is weird.
Weird and impressive!
The article for this condition in German Wikipedia mentions that there’s a training which can help, but I have not looked into this yet
Thank you. I would have linked it if I realised.
It doesn’t seem to be a super common, general thing where I live. However, there are some more prone to it than others, like places that have a bar and/or otherwise serve alcohol. Typically though it’s only the nights they do live music and that’s most often weekends and around specific holidays.
Mostly I just avoid pretty much any establishment if they’ve got live entertainment for the night and I’m there to eat as well as talk with others. I avoid any that are particularly egregious in terms of loud music. I have been with a group where we asked if the volume could be turned down on the speakers one night at a live event where we were one of only a few tables in the entire place and it was clear that nobody was particularly interested in damaging their hearing. The manager slowly slinked over to the performers about 5 - 10 minutes after the request, and they stopped playing shortly after.
Most respectable places have music that is loud at the beginning of service when there are few diners, but then the music gets lower as time goes on and the place fills up.
…not that I reread this, I’m really not implying you dont go to reputable places…really
In some crowded places they do it, so it doesn’t feel like a central station.
Off topic, but related to unwanted noise. Why do white waitstaff/restaurants interupt you when you are talking to someone to ask you “How is everything? Everyone doing ok?”. removed look at the plate. I haven’t touched it since you gave it to me 30 seconds ago. Take a note from Asians. Silently fill the water, observe the vibe, and go if no one says anything. Or some Latino restaurants where they won’t do anything unless you explicitly call them over and ask. I’d take loud music you have to shout over if Cindi with a ‘i’ doesn’t interupt conversations.
Definitely an american thing. I always find it annoying when I travel there. Also, bringing the bill with desert. Let me finish my meal first before giving me hints to get the fuck out
I can understand where you are coming from, from the other perspective, I have gone into places gotten my food, got my dessert, they don’t bring the bill. 40 minutes later I’m asking a different waiter to get me my check because my waiter never came back.
I’d rather they bring the check right away so I can pay them leave when I want.
Rant incoming:
“Fast casual” has ruined dinning. The concept is a volume play of moving as many customers as quick as possible while still giving “personalized service” with the least number of servers possible. Naturally this becomes a race to the bottom with “service” taking the biggest hit since it is the most subjective experience and thus the hardest to measure. The worst part is that most American diners we are slowly lowering expectations in which allows for further reductions in service and makes the experience even worse, but “with prices like these, what can you expect?”
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It’s to ensure your food is up to expectations. Mistakes happen, and a busy dining room dictates a server will help you when they can, not necessarily when you try to flag them down.
That shit annoys me too. I was just at a restaurant today where the waitress would not only interrupt but then linger to babble on and on. Like bitch I’m on a date, fill my drink and fuck off.
I agree, asian places have the best service. Super respectful and I do appreciate that.
'murica
You’ll want to smash both your arms as loud as possible on the table while dominantly starting at them.
Works for me every time.
They blast loud because if you start talking with your friends and eat slowly and spend a lot of time their eating little.
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Might be relevant, but I find that American restaurants are generally louder compared to European ones.
Side note: And why is ithe music always fucking neo-country? Sure, I’ve mostly been to Texas, but I have several albums in my CD collection as a testament to y’all making good music too.
The US and it’s people are often super loud. I say this as one who traveled and now lives in Japan. I didn’t notice right away and had to work hard to lower my normal volume
It isn’t. My favorite restaurant–Kuma’s Korner, on Belmont in Chicago–is always playing metal.
Goddamn I miss that place… :(
I need to check it out. Turns out they have one in the suburbs just under 4 miles from me.
I’d been to the Lincoln Park location–I think that it’s closed now–and it had a very different vibe. I haven’t been to the suburban locations. To me, the original location, with it’s tiny eating section and dive-bar vibe, is still the best. Almost like if Exit served good food, y’know? (AFAIK, Exit doesn’t serve food at all.)
I just moved back to the Chicago land area after being away for 20 years. These places sound like my exact vibe and the sort of places I’ve been searching for.
Do you have any other recommendations?
My experience in American restaurants is that the music is usually whatever is currently popular, so there’s a lot of hip hop and pop songs about dancing and fucking.
Last time I was out to eat with friends, the restaurant was playing an easy listening version of Welcome to the Jungle. That was a lot to process.
Tile or concrete floors, hard surface walls, glass windows all reflect sound. As people start talking, if they are drinking they get louder, so then each table is trying to talk over the tables around them. Without acoustic damping, it can get pretty loud.
Some bosses want to make sure you can hear the music at a decent volume at the back tables. Meanwhile the front tables:
That’s a big part of it, but some people are just loud and some restaurants just play their music way too loud all the time.
One thing I haven’t seen mentioned is that so many places don’t adjust the volume properly to the amount of people in the place. If I go to a sports bar near me for happy hour, they have the music the same volume as when a big game is on and the place is packed.
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“Turn it up loud enough we don’t have to hear these assholes complain”
You may have just nailed the motivation.
You guys don’t like the terrible cover band that comes and blasts their rockin tune?
