A helicopter
a super valuable in-the-original packaging giant boba fett action figure, he’s tormented by keeping it mint in case he ever gets back, somehow the rocket launcher ends up saving his life.
A coconut. Those who know, will know. Those who don’t, may their innocence last forever.
Grandma “So that’s what a coconut is used for.”
“I’ve been doing it wrong all these years”
Grandma is doing a goatse.
deleted by creator
You’re welcome, kind Internet Stranger.
An MRE. When supplies dwindle, our protagonist is faced with a tragic choice.
After a month of deliberation, I have settled on a beanbag chair. Thanks for the suggestions everyone, they were quite inspiring.
An orb
A big rock that has the vague shape of a human face.
I know someone who had such a rock in their house. They kept a cigarette in its “mouth.”
The corpse of Harry Potter that’s slowly coming back to life
Oh wait, that movie exists already
Couch
Starring JD Vance
A pot plant which he might try take care of for a while before realising it’s plastic, but has already grown attached to it.
The same volleyball, but he’s imagining it and he’s the only one who can see it.
Some piece of very modern technology that floats. I think Wilson in the movie represents Hank’s character’s last grasp at a shred of civilization, so he holds onto it as hard as he can. My first idea was an e-ink tablet with an author’s face on it, but that’s a little too on the nose. Maybe it should be something that reflects how much more reliant we are on our modern conveniences than we were during the original.
Edit: Raycon earbuds. He calls them Ray and if you’re lucky that might also bring in some sponsorship money
A dakimakura, AKA a body pillow. Needs an anime character on it, obviously.
Of coure the large breasted, scarcely dressed waifu of questionable age shall still be referred to as “Wilson”
Me. I’ll play Wilson. Listen idk what the fuck that last guy was doing but my take on this character is gonna be a hit, you’ll see
The biggest, most monstrous dildo you can find.
He never uses it. Just befriends it and talks to it like in the original. Just leave the possibility hanging there.
And instead of Wilson, it can be called Doc, or Dr Johnson. (Having a name like bad dragon seems a stretch, maybe baddra?)
Latex fist.
For the entire duration, he can’t work out what it actually is because it’s such a weird shape and so ridiculously huge that it being a dildo never even crosses his mind
