Please don’t ask why I need this.
It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.
It has to be something I can easily find.
EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:
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I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
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I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
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I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
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I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
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Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
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If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.
Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.
I figured this out. There’s a girl/guy there this person doesn’t want to take a shit around because OP is a notoriously stinky pooper. Everyone can go home now.
Happy i switched over to lemmy in time to whitness this
Mysterious post indeed. Yet, it’s the asking of such an intimate, specific question in the most open of spaces what I find truly fascinating 😶
``- I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
Sure sounds like something someone who’s going to mail himself somewhere would say.
Bro are you mailing yourself somewhere?
I wish I could mail myself out of this situation but nope.
Update because I still get one or two comments in my inbox daily asking me about this thing.
Yes, I did succeed.
No, I’m not telling anyone what all of this was about.
I got constipated after the thing was over and made a post asking for help.
The promised picture of my porcelain throne:
You said you’d let us know after what it was about! What a copout!
You’re a lemmy legend.
Lemgend.
You doing some sort of Mr. Beast challenge?
Are you, by any chance in a submarine?
Disasters come in threes. One sub down, better wait until the next 2 explode too
I’m honestly more curious about this than I was about any of the locked safes.
deleted by creator
This is the first Lemmy Moment
Your last three posts are a roller coaster in wondering “What’s this guy up to?”. Thanks for the laughs
It must be troll posts. No way this is real
I have the solution because I too have been in this exact situation, but you can’t eat much or you’ll be extremely uncomfortable.
The day before you go, drink a full bottle of magnesium citrate. This will cause liquid diarrhea and completely empty you out. This is used before Colonoscopies to give the doctor a clear view.
Then for the next 3 days eat very little while taking 3 immodium each day.
You’re welcome.
Since OP is pulling a Gandalf and keeping his secrets, maybe you’d care to share how you found yourself in such a no-shit scenario?
You’re putting so much effort to avoid pooping… but you should put the same effort into making sure that once this whole thing is over, there’s a toilet you can sit on for a few hours without being interrupted. If I was you, I’d choose one in advance and call there for a reservation.
Glastonbury?
