Probably it was the first time as a young adult that I found myself out of money and realized no one was going to give me any more. It’s kind of a jarring experience the first time you realize you have $50 left in your account, you don’t get paid again for another week, and mom and dad can’t help you.
I’m honestly glad it happen to me sooner than later, because it taught me a lot about how to be resourceful, how to budget more carefully, and that as a grown adult I should really be able to handle these things on my own.
It always was for me, the moment I realized was maybe the first move we had where we got rid of 90% of stuff we owned so it could all fit in the car.
When I realized that a lot of people will be difficult, and add trauma to your life, for no gain to themselves. I was like 9 years old. I’m 48 now, and still, fuck those people.
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Lose your job in this economy and you’ll feel it alright
When i had a mental breakdown in my early 30’s.
When my current job cannot for the life of it, be consistent in anything it swears itself by. Making every week of mine, a challenging obstacle course of bullshit that never should’ve been a thing but somehow is.
At various points in my life, my understanding of that grew and grew. I’m sure there will be a point soon where I fear my future twice as much as I do now.
When I born to shit but forced to wipe
When I saw people with much larger advantages than I struggling.
When I started school.
Starting university
In university when I observed others having an easier time due to talent, connections, or wealth.
Made an escalating series of mistakes during a single year in my early 30s, leading to a mental breakdown. That was 5 years ago, I still have trouble letting go of what could have been
Probably when my dad died and my mom (understandably) fell apart.
I will say though - it has gotten better. Much better. I would not call my life difficult now. Only took half a century!
