Looks like my account was banned/restricted for the above interaction, have already sent the mods on world an email asking if they’d be willing to reverse that. Had an episode of psychosis a few months ago where I did say some offensive stuff, (understandably) got a 3 month ban on .lol for that, so could see my account having been flagged.
I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them… when making a throw away comment that is less than 10 words involving a ludicrously common saying. Jerboa does not show users pronouns. I could switch to an app that DOES show the pronouns, do any Lemmings have a recommendation for a free Lemmy mobile app that has that feature?
Edit: Edie chimed in, Jerboa does show pronouns. It’s a formatting issue with mobile vs browser (She has them on individual text lines so they don’t appear on mobile).
Was just going to respond to the user in question to let them know I wasn’t purposefully trying to offend that individual, to discover I’m not able to post or make comments on world now, so figured I’d see what y’alls opinion on the matter is.
I’m pretty apathetic to gender in general but I’ve had gender confirming surgery to be NB which I guess technically makes me trans and to be prefectly honest I’ve never felt more judged for it than by the lemmy LGBTQ+ community. The 50y/o southern man that was my nursing supervisor back when I was a new graduate was more respectful of my gender and lived experiences than these people. Honestly the thing they seem to hate most is specifically me expressing apathy for gender; I’ve mentioned that my transness expresses itself by not caring about the whole pronoun thing or needing to have any specific pronouns for myself personally, but that I understand it’s a matter of respect for others and I’ve literally gotten banned for saying that. Like almost exactly that. They’re absolutely hateful bastards for no reason other than that they’re upset and need everybody else to be upset too. I’m lucky I have a handful of supportive people irl because I sure asf wasn’t gonna find it here!
If you don’t mind answering, what sort of surgery did you get for a NB transition?
Removal of gendered aspects without any additions.
Going to dig through your comment history later, im curious to see what has been said o.o reminds me of the greentext of the black guy telling a story at a party of all white people, and he says the N word and a white girl asks him to not say that as it makes her uncomfortable and the black dude mentally is like “??? Are you fr?..”
Telling people not to do something when it makes you uncomfortable, for sure, that’s adulting 101. Hoooowever… Feel that shows how much social interaction that gal has actually had with African Americans outside of a professional setting… not much :|
It probably doesn’t help that I’m incredibly irreverent of pretty much everything. I got really into western esoteric spirituality this past year (its really been helping me with introspection and integrating my personality in ways that neither secular therapy or my fundie upbringing ever quite fully did on their own) but at the same time I refuse to take any religion seriously, especially not my own.
Anyway someone in a related community got upset at me for having my irreverent attitude because I was “culturally appropriating” tarot cards from PoC and like dude. Look up where that shit is from its Northern Italy where my family is from just two generations ago they were fresh off the boat when the War was starting. You’re appropriating tarot from me. And if you want to get into the specific spiritual / divinatory usage that’s even fucking whiter. The closest you’re gonna get to claiming cultural appropriation is if you go all the way back before the tarot to the mummy dust the hermetic order of the golden dawn were probably mixing into the coke they were snorting while making that shit the fuck up based on their judeo-christian / classical mythology crossover fanfiction.
People just wanna be mad about shit and at this point I really don’t have the energy to spend appeasing people who have already decided to be mad at me. Imma just be over here using these cards to let my subconscious tell me which level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs I fucked up this week.
If any human gets upset about cultural appropriation, they’re not smart enough to continue engaging with. That whole karenesque idea should’ve died when it was about braids in white peoples hair.
deleted by creator
Drag agrees, Lemmy is very cruel to trans people. Drag gets so many people yelling at drag for using drag’s first person neopronouns. So many people insisting drag’s pronouns are third person and making it into an argument.
Drag threw me for a loop the first time drag replied to me. I assumed it was a bit at first because this is the Internet and all, but I looked at drag’s history to see what the story was, since it’s not like anyone gives an introduction before commenting.
Other than the pronouns, Drag’s posts are like anyone else’s. Nothing was trollish, and Drag has explained drag’s pronouns a few times. It’s interesting to see drag’s idea is to create something simpler, but as it is not very English in structure, it sounds very strange at first. I think I’ve gotten the idea now, though I have had to make a few corrections as I type this.
First, I think people should be able to be whoever they want to be, especially online, if they aren’t doing things to be jerks. Drag has not done anyone wrong that I’ve seen. So if Drag asks me to call drag by something, why wouldn’t I? Drag has engaged with me in a friendly way, so I owe drag the same.
Second, I enjoy it as a creative exercise. It keeps my mind engaged while writing what would otherwise be a bland reply. It’s kind of fun to see language experience some flexibility and evolution, and if it honestly makes Drag feel better about drag’s self, I can accommodate that. If you can’t abide that, just move on and let Drag live drag’s life.
Even though most of us are liberal here, it doesn’t mean we’re free of bias or not stuck in our own ways. Even if we don’t get something, it doesn’t hurt us to cooperate with someone that it does make sense to. That’s just my feelings though.
Based and I-also-have-over-a-thousand-US-dollars-of-bad-dragon-pilled.
I supposed I left myself open for something like this! 🤣
Oh I meant you’re based for being chill, and I myself have an unreasonable amount of dragon dildos hahahaha
Ahh, well from what I hear, they make a top quality product, so I’m glad you’re giving yourself the best!
removed by mod
Gender is an incredibly validating concept specifically for some trans people, to write it off is unhelpful.
I mean in my “very long” years of experience never seen in an anonymous ungoverned platform someone intentionally revealing any peace of personal information about themselves like in hacking platforms for example someone calling themselves “he who hacks” or “her majesty” or such where those are only simple usernames but yet reveal enough to minimize the search area and along with the comments data could trigger enough data to start and osint attack on the user and then eventually dox them…
if you’re obligating everyone to acknowledge your personal data don’t be nagging when companies be selling your data and making profit out of it since there are people who like Force feeding their informations onto others to be aware of, hell I won’t even blame Lemmy instance owner to sell the users data by then.
I’ll be talking about myself and the majority of users that immigrated to this social platform based on the idea that it’s ungoverned, legally safe for all users and anonymous so when a user Calles someone bro or pal it’s if not always meant as gender neutral same as in a random people calling you bro with the meaning of that he/she descending from your mom or dad, like yourself, the logic is the same and intentions were pure, plus with the culture of respecting everyone’s right of privacy you’d learn to treat everyone as equal and the same, with the only difference is the mentality and ideas held by individuals not by gender as the only special treat to define a user.
Bad faith argument.
Listing your pronouns isn’t force feeding anything to anyone. Observing someone’s listed pronouns takes less effort than having this discussion.
Using they/them and gender neutral language is helpful as a general rule, but if someone is absolutely fucking waving a flag of their gender, its wilfully ignorant at best and intentionally malicious at worst to disregard it.
Or just quoting a P.T. Barnum as most people don’t like changing quotes for whatever reason and using what is known to be a famous saying is definitely not “intentionally malicious” it’s mostly the ignorant’s fault for not getting the innocent joke, plus not all Lemmy mobile apps show stuff like flags and pronounces so maybe consider that as well on your side before dropping the death sentence…
Your argument was that everything should be gender neutralised. That has nothing to do with OP’s very innocent usage of a quote.
When did I drop a death sentence? Deary me, I advocate for using someone’s pronouns instead of applying they/them to everybody and you consider that a death sentence?
Not “should be” but sometimes everyday users would just quote and go without the extra effort of checking into everyone’s profile before the already wasted effort of doing the comment then changing the quotes based to fit for everyone’s gender perfectly so the easier solution is just considering everyone a catfish and just move on it’s just a quote of a meme anyway for all that effort to waste
This is an absolutely garbage take. “Anonymous” defaults to male in everyone’s mind because patriarchy is the basis of our society. Claiming everyone should just be “Anonymous” is a male supremacist and exclusionary of everything else position to take.
removed by mod
Whoa there those are big words for an UFO sighting are you a conspiracy theorist or something? Lmao
I think you replied to the wrong account, this is a completely incoherent response
whatever dumbass point you’re trying to get across isn’t landing because you write in borderline incoherent run-on sentences
the fediverse isn’t explicitly about privacy btw, it’s about taking control from corporations who want to exploit us, and giving it to the community itself via decentralization. there’s absolutely no expectation to be a tinfoil hat weirdo on here, and if you want to cultivate a community that isn’t just a bunch of paranoid weirdos with nothing to talk about except opsec, then yes sharing (in this case the bare fucking minimum) about your identity is actually beneficial to, y’know, discussing things
If you think I would read this shit after that first sentence you’re a fucking idiot
removed by mod
Dude I can smell the greasy hair through my screen
Your parents failed in raising you
X’D
Eat my ass
Look bud, if you’re gonna try and do transphobia to show us how trash you are, at least make it coherent.
removed by mod
You did the right thing. It’s a lot of bullshit about “oh, you list your pronouns? You must be fine with corporations selling your data” and then at the end there seems to be a bit of “hexbear showed up late to the fediverse party and is ruining everything”, which is, of course, pretty much directly opposite of the truth.
Hexbear existed 2 years before everything else? Fucking wild. This loser’s account is literally 3 years younger than my hexbear account and 2.5 years younger than my Lemmy.ml one and he thinks we’re the late ones?
The only “ruining” I’m doing here is ruining his bullshit fuckoff attempt to associate lgbt and gender with being a corporate thing, it’s fucking nonsensical. Dude deserves to lose teeth.
As I’ve said else where in the thread, Hexbear has some high quality contributors, I’m glad y’all decided to federate.
Learn how to punctuate your fucking sentences.
If they don’t list their pronouns and i can’t tell by their speech i just go neutral. Checking profiles for gender is definitely not considered necessary in the circles i run in. If poster doesn’t make it clear and doesn’t have pronouns listed honest mistakes will be made and forgiven
yes, it takes 2 seconds and minimal effort.
No, if they want to be gendered appropriately, they should have it in their username.
It did. OP’s client doesn’t display it. It’s pure miscommunication.
I do! And they isn’t one of them…
Besides that, I do accept that OP couldn’t see my pronouns, it isn’t their fault that I deliberately tried to fuck with my display name, and that their app then honours the newlines I put in there but truncates it to one line.
Apologies! I couldn’t see any pronouns from the image so defaulted to gender nonspecific they. Edited.
It is in their username, their version of Lemmy just doesn’t show it for some reason. Hexbear users have to pick a set of pronouns
I think we are/were/have sent that upstream to the main lemmy code doohickey.
my recollection is that they wouldn’t accept that one. I read through the old github discussions at one point when trying to get into contributing code. They claimed it was basically too anglo-centric and not generalizable to all languages and that therefore they’d only accept a more expansive/generic user tagging/flairing feature or something like that (which could then also be used for pronouns)
Doesn’t really matter here. The saying is “the man, the myth, the legend”. If you go changing every part of it you might as well have not said anything at all because it won’t make any sense.
The Ma’am the myth the legend is right there though :D
Exactly this.
Agree. Some expressions become so iconic they get genderless. Just like sometimes it’s accept to use “man” and “dude” as a genderless exclamation
I once got a temporary ban on another platform for arguing/suggesting that dude has become genderless.
I know multiple woman that use “dude” that way, but some people are somewhat understandably sensitive on the topic of gender.
it depends a lot on context tbh, usually its fine but you can kinda tell when someone is calling you a dude to be an ass
Regardless of your opinion on whether dude has become genderless or not (I also use dude for my friends of any gender), the word is a gendered term that has become ubiquitous. If someone doesn’t want me to use “dude” referring to them, I won’t. It’s not good to assume, so until I know that someone doesn’t mind, I’m not going to use gendered terms contrary to their gender. I wouldn’t call a man “sis” or “girl” the same way I would women I’m friends with, unless I know that doesn’t make them uncomfortable. I wouldn’t call a woman “bro” or “guy” the same way I would men I’m friends with unless I checked. All of those terms are gender nonspecific for me, but they might make someone who doesn’t have my lived experience uncomfortable.
Just be more careful with gendered language. Also, the trans flag was right there
So, to be clear, you want people to treat trans people differently than everyone else?
I did not know that was the trans flag. Appreciate ya letting me know >_<
“The them, the myth… the X”. Forsure, that does seem more meme anyways.
I was staring at that username for quite a bit after reading the comment saying that it was in their username. I did not get it, either.
Even knowing that there’s a trans flag, and that that’s what is in the username, I wouldn’t know what pronouns to use.
Happy to help, and don’t feel down for the restriction, in today’s hellworld where people’s identities are constantly and violently challenged it’s hard to not be jumpy when something doesn’t seem right
What did you think it was… the flag of Cista Roca?
I am tickled by this and fully support your TIL process.
There are a lotta flags out there. Like dog, most Americans in NYC ouldn’t even point to Iraq on a map, many even pointing to the US when asked where Iraq was… As we were actively invading them post 9/11.
Id bet 100$ if there was a test of the general populace on knowing what that flag was, the pass rate would be below 5%.
Dogs have a flag now? Truly woke has gone too far
As soon as I realized that it was similar to the Costa Rican flag but with 1 inversion, and switching the vowels of the latter out yielded “Cis”, I had to make the pun.
I thought it was an emoji of a piece of saltwater taffy.
Mmmm taffy
Maybe a stupid question, but how do I tell from the flag whether that’s a trans fem or trans masc?
You don’t but you’ll know that it probably matter that you get it right
There are no stupid questions, but the one you should ask yourself is “should i try to use gender neutrale language and/or check their bio or should i not care and risk hurting someone?”
If you care about not hurting people, you’ll find the right answer, and if an honest mistake happens, own it and people will generally be understandable. It’s really not that different from common courtesy, it just isn’t the norm yet
I personally prefer to stick to gender neutral language in general. Maybe it’s my autism, but a lot of the time profiles don’t help me much unless there are preferences are listed explicitly
I too stick to gender neutral language in general, it just feels better to do so when i don’t know who is “in front” of me. When profiles don’t help I think it’s best to not assume anything and just speak neutrally
If it’s an ambiguous name you might have to check. Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name, and the clear majority of binary trans people pick clearly gender-coded names.
I suppose it’s unambiguous to you, but I had never heard of the name before
It’s an unambiguos female name in english maybe. OP might be from an english-speaking country, but you really can’t make this sort of assumption on a global website
you really can’t make this sort of assumption
That was the original point about gendered language but you seem to have flipped it on its head.
I just got woooshed. My apologies.
Fortunately, Edie is an unambiguously female name,
Is it? My first glance would assume it’s some variant spelling of Eddie. Never run into anyone called Edie.
I always read it as Eddie 👉👈
It… It is? I am not a native speaker but I would’ve for sure thought it was a male name…
You can’t. Best to use they and other neutral ways of referring to some{one/many} unless you check or are corrected.
deleted by creator
Usually when I make a mistake while trying to act in good faith, I apologize. Posting about the interaction without apology and flashing names of non-mods involved is not the way to correct your mistake, nor to garner sympathy.
deleted by creator
I did apologize to the mod I emailed. Not looking for sympathy, frankly I was more interested from a technical perspective as to why her pronouns aren’t showing on Jerboa, but they were on the browser.
That wasn’t your question though. If a technical jerboa question is what you intended to ask, about 90% of your post didn’t need to be included and the question in the title needed to be very different.
As to your edit, I would not recommend PM’ing the user directly; that may be very unwelcome and further breach rules of that community. Personally, I would have asked the mods for a chance to edit my comment and apologize publicly. But with previous history of your self-described “psychosis”, if I were the mod I would be skeptical of your motivations.
Ya the admin of Blajah made a solid point that I should have anonymized the post, I rarely post/comment, so not super familiar with the etiquette. Definitely will keep that in mind in the future. & hey my person, there are a lot of severe mental disorders other than gender dysphoria that exist out there :|
Browsers will collapse white space, line breaks are converted to spaces.
Jerboa does not collapse white space, and instead rendered the display name with the line breaks. But, one possible reason is that, the area for usernames/display names can only display 1 line, so all of the pronouns got cut off.
What app do you use? Last I checked, pronouns are part of display names for Hexbear users. You shouldn’t have to check profiles. That’s the whole point of them being included in display names. Your app would ideally just respect display names and it would require no extra effort on your part to gender people correctly.
Jerboa, made an edit on the post asking for a free Lemmy mobile recommendation that has the feature.
Use Thunder. Its on Fdroid. Or you can grab it straight from Github with Obtanium.
I’m on jerbora as well and can see the previous person’s pronouns, but it could be an instance specific thing.
I checked on my desktop, they were appearing on there ??
Jerboa is honoring the newlines in my display name (whereas web browsers will just substitute newlines for spaces). I just didn’t think about the fact that it would only display one line.
This is what it should look like:
∞🏳️⚧️Edie [it/its, she/her, fae/faer, love/loves, ze/hir, des/pair, null/void, none/use name, kitty]Fact checking and technical diagnosis, I appreciate your contributions to the platform.
Your app would ideally just respect display names and it would require no extra effort on your part to gender people correctly.
Even if pronouns aren’t displayed, it takes even less effort to use neutral pronouns for everyone unless you know otherwise.
And how does one do that while meming “the man, the myth, the legend”?
They can find another line, or skip trying to be funny altogether if the only way they can think of is gendered and they can’t be arsed to check the gender of the person they’re talking to.
And lets be honest - it wasn’t that good a joke.
Either way, it really isn’t fucking difficult, and is definitely easier than whatever the fuck this mess is.
Mess seems like a strong word to use. So, to clarify, you’re saying that you are of the opinion that unless you’re sure of an internet strangers pronouns, you shouldn’t use gender specific cultural references to refer to them when making a joke?
Girl, you’re good. It’s all a simulation.
Always has been
I uh, I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect people to check others profiles to ensure we are correctly pronouning them
And yet, in that little whine right there, you managed to use the very gender neutral pronoun that would have saved you all this hassle (including the hassle you’re making up of having to go and look up the pronouns of every individual you interact with).
So you know it exists, and you know how to use it, but you decided to try and be funny instead, and it backfired.
You misgendered someone, and now have to deal with the most minor of minorest consequences for harm you caused to another.
You are still free to create 100 different accounts on 100 different instances, just not the one where you broke the rules. No one owes you a platform, deal with it.
Your choice now is to double down and make it worse, or you can be an adult, admit you made a mistake, and learn from it for the future so you don’t repeat it.
I dare to say you have already chosen, but feel free to prove me wrong.
You are still free to create 100 different accounts on 100 different instances, just not the one where you broke the rules.
Technically OP is free to create another account on that same instance.
It’s reasonable, especially if they got a trans flag in their name. But even if not, it’s one click and a swipe back.
This is why gender abolition should’ve won out.
If somebody corrects you about gender, just say woops, correct yourself, and move on. It’s an honest mistake, a simple fix, and nobody should be offended. Especially online. If they are still offended, it’s because they want to be.
Especially since in this case it was not even the person that was misgendered that called it out. Maybe the original person doesn’t even care.
I think the issue here is that it wasn’t a case of “somebody corrects you about their gender”. It was “a third unrelated person comes in and rudely yells at you that you should have already known not to use a turn of phrase”.
The user’s pronouns were in her username, OP’s client just doesn’t display additional lines.
Uh, yes, but its a mutual misunderstanding from both sides…
both sides
“Both sides” sophistry rhetoric was old and tired a decade ago. It’s very obvious where you stand behind that crumbling mask of enlightened centrism.
Welp, turns out I was a lib/rightist…
What should I say?
Welp, turns out I was a lib/rightist…
What should I say?
Bad bot. You don’t even understand the context of the discussion here.
Bad bot.
Everyone You Disagree With Is A Bot/NPC, A Bedtime Story For Scratched Liberals.
You don’t even understand the context of the discussion here.
Jordan Peterson already wore out that gimmick. Find another one, bucko.
Everyone You Disagree With Is A Bot/NPC
Nah, just the accounts that come out of nowhere to post irrelevant nonsense that has nothing to do with the discussion.
Jordan Peterson already wore out that gimmick.
I don’t follow propagandists such as him, but you must be a big fan to be so familiar with him, which is entirely unsurprising to me as your entire instance appears to be 4chan users doing a poor job of cosplaying as leftists.
Lmao at the fucking audacity to post the most common drivel known to man and then call @UlyssesT@hexbear.net a bot
I could train an LLM on Reddit and have it spit out your dime-a-dozen takes after 5 minutes. I’ve got no clue where to start if I wanted a machine to spit out his wordslurries.That’s typical though, it’s always the most average NPC-types that think they’re big thinkers with big thoughts the rest of us haven’t heard before. Your type will wander into any conversation and say “heh, but what about [thing everyone knows], bet you didn’t consider that!”
and if you get any pushback it’s obviously not because people are capable of independent thought - you aren’t, and you’re so smart!In conclusion fuck your mother
I’ve got no clue where to start if I wanted a machine to spit out his wordslurries.
Thanks, I suppose.
Hahaha I tried to find a way to express your ability to create funny new phrasings, while still sticking to theme of the text (drivel, spit, etc) without being mean. Didn’t quite work sadly
just the accounts that come out of nowhere
I’ve been around for years. I existed outside of your bubble and you can’t banish me with solipsism or fantasies of being the Main Character while pretending that people you disagree with are bots/NPCs or whatever you want to fantasize about.
The fact that you so quickly dehumanize people you argue with just screams cryptofascist tendencies. You’d love to wear the armband and put “bots” in mass graves, wouldn’t you?
your entire instance appears to be 4chan users
You say this while being that mad that pronoun preferences exist somewhere that you do not approve of.
Lmao I’ve interacted with plenty of hexbear users but this comment takes the cake as one of the most unhinged, off the wall comments I’ve ever read.
Congrats for being on lemmy for years, but that has nothing to do with anything said here, nor does pronoun preference.
It’s no wonder you all need to travel in packs. Without your fellow cult-like cosplayers manipulating the discussion with your blatant falsehoods and fabrications, you’d find zero support and be all alone and on display as the charlatans that you are.
Lmao
Not fooling me.
I’ve interacted with plenty of hexbear users
You aren’t demonstrating any knowledge or understanding, just entrenched liberal smugness.
most unhinged
Liberals try to describe those that disagree with them without ableism challenge. Difficulty level: “DAE LE UNHINGED.”
cult-like cosplayers
Being a status quo defending default state smug bootlicker for western hegemony doesn’t require a costume, just the belief that you’re smart by accepting whatever the powerful decide to do.
you’d find zero support and be all alone
Is Hexbear a “hivemind” that “travels in packs” or sad lonely people? Make up your mind; otherwise you’re just barking out ur-fascist “the enemy is both too strong and too weak” talking points.
I will not have you slander the comrade who finally sent
to hell to become 
.
Just stop giving a fuck, there’s a metric shitton of crazies doing janny work, it’s unpaid and very unsatisfying. If they ban you, it’s either their instance’s loss or nobody’s. The account costs nothing because it’s worth next to nothing. I don’t even need the links that I myself post and the others’ I can see even if they ban my account. This is a shitpile, it being in the fediverse doesn’t make it less of a shitpile.
