- Wear orange or pink.
- Eat quiche
- Like poetry
- Hang out with girls at recess
- Wear an earring
- Owning Laurie Anderson or Philip Glass CDs
Use a Mac.
Wait, does that ever actually happen as anything but a joke?
I saw it from this post and wanted to see what Lemmy has experienced…
“Why clean the house unless you’re expecting visitors?”
SO YOU HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?!
It didn’t make sense to me either until I realized that cleaning your house is probably also gay if you’re not expecting visitors.
What app did you use to create this?
E: I just realised that 1.) it’s a reddit post, not lemmy post and 2.) that it’s not even your creation. xd
That bit about wiping your ass is pretty funny ngl
Real men let it crust 😤
Nah man gotta keep that shit swampy
Well fuck, I own more work boots than that, not to mention shoes for jogging, shoes for work, and shoes for going out. My work and fashion footwear game is strong.
Fellas, is it gay to have women compliment you because you care about your appearance?
Use hand lotion. Dude, my hands are dry, back off!
Who the hell is telling you that? I’ve been using moisturizers forever. People often ask my age then don’t believe it and I’m like lotion dude. Everyday. Care for your skin. Never been told I couldn’t.
Some moron in highschool…
Were you using it on some other dudes junk by any chance or something…? Cuz otherwise that seems like a leap.
Wear a kilt?
TBH I’ve never tried and nobody told me it was gay. But I’m a sweaty person and I would love to air out my crotch except for fear of social criticism.
Sucking my best friend’s dick. I’m sorry, but if my friend is having a bad day, giving him a bro-job is not gay.
I’m generally skeptical of comments on the internet, so almost every time I have read comments like this one that you’re reading right now, I’ve been like “yeah right”. Kinda like how “lol” means “laughing out loud” but when you read it online you don’t really expect whoever wrote “lol” to have laughed out loud? Anyway, I was drinking coffee, I read your comment, I snorted in laughter, and now my white shirt is full of coffee.
I guess I’m also kinda mad at myself for laughing so hard at such a silly joke. Regardless, have an updoot 👍
I need more friends like you.
Did you even say no homo first?
Not judging, but that is definitely gay.
Sounds like a happy experience all round.
Only if he gets a boner
I’ve had a colleague say that tea is “homo water”. I’m aro/ace, but most of my colleagues don’t know that. Similarly a straight colleague of mine got mocked for wearing pink (but not feminine) shoes. After some of these incidents we’ve kinda started pushing back against this nonsense by deliberately triggering these people and calling them out, which has worked so far.
Wore a maroon coloured hoodie
The dude who asked me this also stared fixedly at the crotch of my board shorts and asked me “where’s your package, man?” upon me exiting climbing out of a (cold) plunge pool
I clearly looked confused, so he says “where’s your piece?”
Dude clearly spent a fair amount of his time cataloguing the outlines of flaccid penises through boardshorts for whatever fucking reason.
I was offended, ish, till I heard the growers vs show-ers thing. Mine retracts while not in use, it’s quite convenient.
Guess he didn’t know about shrinkage.
Playing tennis.
In jr high I had some friends who played football say my other friends and I on the tennis team were gay for playing tennis.
I had to point out to them that the tennis team was co-ed and we regularly made out with our female teammates on the long bus rides to tournaments.
While those on the football team were constantly manhandling each other, showering together and slapping each other on the ass to say “good game.” But the tennis team are the gay ones?
They got mad, but dropped it.
One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.
A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.
Fellas, is it gay to not eat dirt
They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.
Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?
Wait… you’re not washing your asshole are you?
You can’t be having fingers near your butt, same with wiping
I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.
Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.
The conclusion id jump to is that they were going in there to do some drugs.
Well it is called “homophobia” and a “phobia” is an irrational fear.
He lives his life in fear of two consenting men. Lol
I had the realization recently that homophobes think of gay sex as often as I do; but they have to jump through mental gymnastics to get it while I simply open up app and I’m back to normal an hour or so later.
I can’t image how hard it is to be happy and hold such a defining part of your life with such contempt at the same time and that was the first time I’ve ever felt sorry for a homophobe; it was for Aaron shock.
They went in straight. All good then.
Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.
Only straight way to use a urinal is helicoptering, got it
I usually just wet my pants to avoid touching my own penis so I don’t get perceived as gay. Shit, I just used the word perceived. Gay af.
Both of these broke my brain.
That has to be one of the best IT crowd episodes.
That and the fort trial. Or where Jen breaks the internet.
I’m disabled!!
Leg disabled
Use ranch dressing. I was informed that was for gays and city folk only. I really had no response to that nugget of wisdom.
Out west, country folk fucking love ranch. Especially with pizza.
Blue cheese dressing is definitely gay. Manly men like sweet salad dressing. I know because Anton LaVey said so, and we all know he was a manly man.
TIL I’m gay
In the 1990s in the UK, it was gay to wear a backpack using both shoulder straps (as opposed to using one strap over one shoulder, which was the heterosexual way to carry things to school).
As a fellow school child in the ‘90s, I can confirm that almost anything anyone did was gay. Holding hands with a girl? Gay. Liking video games? Gay.
According to the best school playground scientists of the time, opening a packet of crisps upside down (i.e. so the branding/writing is upside down, and you open the bottom of the packet, at the top) actually “made you gay”.
It wasn’t just gay if you did it, but it would literally cause a spontaneous eruption of gayness in whoever did it - who would be permanently gay from that point onwards.
Other way round now. And they have little satchel things too on their chest.
Bizarre times
My dad saw someone with that. Called them gay
Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.
Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on
Heh come on.
Yeah, you don’t have to be gay just to be able to admire art.
Though it doesn’t appear to hurt!
