When i was a child, i believed autopilot really worked like in the movie Airplane, that it was an inflatable dummy.
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My parents didn’t specifically tell me if Santa Clause was real or make-believe. They wanted me to come to my own conclusion, I guess. My dad is a rationalist person, and my mom’s from a culture that doesn’t traditionally celebrate Christmas.
So what I believed was that the appearance of presents on Christmas was an unsolved mystery, and Santa Clause was just a hypothesis to explain it.
I suspected the real explanation probably involved the tree working as an antenna for some kind of cosmic energy that triggered the appearance of presents. Perhaps in ancient and more superstitious times they discovered this phenomenon by accident and continued to put up the tree ever since.
Christmas tree as extraterrestrial cargo cult ritual. Holy shit that’s brilliant.
Santa Claus cargo cult
As a 53 year old man I’m going to START believing this. It’s awesome.
When I was a kid my dad would often pull up the NORAD Santa tracker on Christmas Eve, and that combined with seeing the film War Games at way too young of an age had me believing in Santa for much longer than I should have because “why else would the federal government devote so much money to tracking him?” I think it was specifically seeing the exact same animation of him being welcomed into a country by a pair of fighter jets for the third year in a row that finally killed that line of reasoning (because obviously the NORAD Santa tracker site is shot with television cameras or something)
Kid logic is wild
I believed my hair would blow away with sufficient wind. And it basically did, it just took 30 more years
That the Empire State Building is a restaurant named Empire Steak Building.
Me ordering the ribeye.
Wait… wait… [chewing] he’s got a point
Surely there’s a chain of restaurants or butcher shops in New York called Empire Steak, right?
The semaphore homunculus lived in the stop lights at intersections.
In my Superman onesie (w/ cape), I could fly, but was never brave enough to launch from a high enough step on the stairs. I knew I was flying, but…
I thought babyback ribs were from ACTUAL Babies
This reminds me of the first time I went to see my wife’s family long before we got married. There was a big gathering for Christmas and she had a kid sister looking totally distraught at the dinner table where a feast was laid out. “I can’t eat this! That poor 3-legged lamb!!!” And she ran off.
that if we break tv’s screen , tv charecters can get out of it and we can enter tv
This sounded like it led to an expensive life lesson.
It didn’t , thank god
That kissing is how you become pregnant. No, really.
It’s actually surprising how many people have believed this.
I remember believing this as well but specifically you had to kiss in a bed.
That a bon fire was a “bomb” fire and therefore, very loud and very dangerous.
I used to call it a “bomb fire” too lol.
For anyone wondering
bonfire (n.)
https://www.etymonline.com/word/bonfire#etymonline_v_15587
late 14c., bonfir, banefire, “a fire in which bones are burned;” see bone (n.) + fire (n.). The original specific sense became obsolete and was forgotten by 18c. The general sense of “large open-air fire from any material for public amusement or celebration” is by mid-16c. and that of “large fire for any purpose” from 17c. also from late 14c.
I thought our eyes worked by projecting some kind of energy beam that scanned objects, like how Superman’s X-ray vision is sometimes drawn.
Thank you for sharing that. It was a lot of fun to read through. At the end I was like, wait how did I end up on this wiki?
Da na da na da na da na Bat Eyes!
That encountering quick sand in real life was a real possibility every day.
Bonus: My kid doesn’t believe that Santa is magical, he just has really advanced technology.
Clarke’s third law. “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” Quicksand thing is fucking stupid though.
Every kid from the 80s & 90s was taught* to believe that, so I don’t blame you.
&nsbp;
*By movies & books & games and shit, not by teachers. Well, maybe some teachers…
That there were little gnomes inside the doors of the cars and that they were in charge of raising and lowering the windows, especially in the automatic cars.
Tigers are female lions.
they aren’t‽
interrobang spotted
I’m a hwat!?
The “dogs are boys, cats are girls” one is a very common answer to this question on reddit.
We live inside the earth. Dogs say barf.
These are both subjectively true.
I thought Salvatia must be the poorest country in the world if even their army has to go around begging for money.
That is such a funny mental image.
rice turned water into soil
