New car for the wife. Something flashy and fun that she would never buy for herself since the Toyota probably won’t die for at least another 10 years.

$500,000,000? I would probably donate like 475m at least cause I’m not a fucking monster that would hoard the level of wealth. Then live more than comfortably off the money you get for having money until I die and pass that fountain of youth on to another family member.

First I’d buy my own house from the bank. Next I’d buy each of my neighbor’s houses going out three or four blocks and gift them to them, with the option to stay or move at any time in the future and sell them back to me at market rate. If they sell it back to me, take the cash and move, I put the property up for sale to the lowest bidder - ie, I would offer them to local families who needed it most, selling them for literally pennies.

I would then start gifting large amounts to local schools, with the rider that it has to go towards increasing salaries for all existing staff first, followed by creating a floating fund for supplies and meals so that no teacher or family in need ever had to buy them out of their own pocket.

After all that I’d start commissioning giant bronze statues of my favorite fictional characters and plopping them down on undeveloped land in the area, then building parks around them.

Near one of these parks I’d build a great big classically-styled movie theater that plays classic films for three bucks a ticket. Operating costs would be paid for from a fund set up to keep the place open and running indefinitely, with all ticket sales to go to local charities.

Buy Reddit and Remove the Powers of Mod.

1. Pay off current debts (est. 350,000 with my mortgage)
2. Build an elaborate gothic/victorian mystery mansion with hidden passages and various other secrets in a remote mountain location overlooking a small town (Budget 5-10 mil)
3. Setup accounts for managing my remaining funds for investing for return, various investments in small companies I personally like, donating to charity, and for living off of. All of these account should be setup in such a way that they can persist after my death without a defined next-of-kin (not really a purchase but I’m still spending money so w/e)
4. Continue to exist for a while, then hire a professional assassin to kill me in a very particular way I will have detailed ahead of time (est. Idk however the fuck much assassins cost)
5. The person who is able to piece together the clues I left behind in the wake of my murder will inherit my fortune. (note: this does not necessarily mean “solve my murder”. I suicided by assassin, that’d be a boring answer.)

As for the “why”, the only answer I can give you is because I would find it fucking hilarious

Retirement accounts for myself and people close to me so we can live off the interest. Then probably a bigger house and a bunch of old cars

Lots of different stock so I can be a proper capitalist living from passive income.

Then see how much of an income that is and adjust lifestyle.

A house or nice apartment in this town. Private school for kids. Great bicycles. Still no car. BahnCard 100 for every family member.

Reinvest and donate the rest.

1. My own island
2. Engine swap, lift kit and two sets of new wheels for my truck

I don’t know what else. Tools, building supplies… maybe a backhoe. I basically already own everything I want.

• A nice house (preferably just barely outside the range of a strict HOA neighborhood so I can break all their rules and not have any repercussions and also so I don’t gotta live in an apartment or rental home no more)

• Pay for the next quarter of college (so that I don’t have to worry about financial aid and whether or not I have fucked up on that)

• A ref sheet commission for my fursona from my absolute favorite furry artist (because I just want one)

• Using the ref sheet, I’d commission a very expensive fursuit from a maker that does premium high quality fursuits (again, because I want one)

• Upgrading my computer and laptop for both school and for every day use would also be nice as well since I’d finally be out of the macrohard ecosystem and into the Linux ecosystem (unless I need windows for something in which I’d have a sandboxed VM running a heavily pre-modified copy of win10)

First Thing? Putting aside stuff that would come first by being a technicality such as food I would have ordered anyway: Probably a Server Rack. I already have a Server but I made the mistake of using a regular motherboard which is biting me in the ass rn as I don’t have as much RAM available as I’d like to.

I’m enjoying this mostly because of how many people are reading it as $500,000.

I’d probably dump most of it into open source or fediverse projects I thought were cool.

I don’t need anywhere near that amount to fund my own existence tbh.

A house close to nature with a big garden for the kids and plane tickets to Europe to visit my parents with our 5 months old.

Fancy vacation, new clothes, an electric car, a big house and a warehouse for miscellaneous projects. Just a little celebration first and then get myself set up for the future.

A new house for my aging parents with no stairs.