Supernatural FedEx Man.
Worker that wants to unionize destroys all his company’s shit with a hammer.
You try to keep smiley faces from turning red until cats inevitably make your game run at 0.2 FPS.
You start out as a taxi driver but end up as a major player in a conflict between two warring pizza restaurants.
Ooh, look at this beautiful vast open world! Let’s go explo-YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
YOU DIED
rock paper scissors with aliens
Upon being released from prison, you thrust yourself directly into the local religions and governments until everyone can agree that you’re the rebirth of divinity, at which point you doom the game world to death by giant fucking meteor by poking a large heart with really specific silverware.
Keep burning to death over and over again as you desperately try to gather knowledge of previous civilizations in order to save(?) the universe.
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-_-
You end up stranded on a foreign planet. You need to build a rocket so you can go home, but unfortunately you have to build a whole manufacturing facility to do that. As if this wasn’t hard enough, the inhabitants of the planet are environmentalist assholes and will do anything in their power to stop you.
Young boy goes to camp and spends all day waving a stick, talking to animals and has adventures with his imaginary friends.
Eagle! Eagle! Aghhhhh…
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My wife gets mad at me for stabbing the bard.
