I’m a 54-year-old man, recently separated from my wife of 31 years - just earlier this month. Honestly, I’m already feeling bored and lonely, so I’ve been considering trying out dating apps (I’ve never used one before). However, my sons (30 and 28) tell me it’s a waste of time and possibly even a scam, and I’ve seen similar opinions online. So I’m not sure what to think.
They’re not the best, but there isn’t a reason not to try if it interests you. A good friend of mine in his mid-40s was divorced from his wife and went on Bumble about a year and a half ago. He went on a handful of dates and only a couple months in met his new girlfriend. They’ve been together a year now, they’re doing well and she’s great. Point is there are lots of success stories.
We do live in a decent sized city, where there are a lot of fish in the sea.
Yeah, I wouldn’t suggest it be your only approach, but they do work in some cases. I’m poly and met one of my partners on OKCupid and another on Feeld.
Dating profiles are like work resumes. They take work and refinement. Not getting responses? Try tweaking your profile and changing your profile pics. I find apps that don’t let you put more than a few minutes into your profile are a waste of time because you simply can’t figure out which profiles are real people and which are bots/scammers. I include everything in my profile that might be a common dealbreaker (poly, not religious, child-free, etc) so that anyone who swipes on me has already already filtered into a smaller and better-matched dating pool.
The other thing that has worked for me is to not chat with a person online for longer than necessary. You need those low-stake getting-to-know-you topics to fill the awkward silences until you know you them to the point where they become companionable silences. Once I’m confident that the other person is real and that we have the potential for a connection, I ask if they want to have a quick vibe check meeting. 30-minutes to an hour max, typically over coffee, minimal pressure. Just get that first conversation over with. Let them know you’re a safe person first, then hopefully establish a connection, build up some flirty energy, and schedule a real date on the way out.
Edit: Noticed a half-finished thought and completed it.