Capitalism and its consequences have been a disaster for the human anus
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Just absolutely demolish the toilet every time you use it.
Make them suck out that half-a-ply-ass-TP with oil rig equipment.
Flush a bundle of tampons wrapped in floss.
Soak a large sponge in cornstarch, wrap as small as possible with rubber bands, let dry, cut rubber bands then flush a hand full of these down the toilet.
How are you guys smuggling all those sabotage supplies to work? 😆
Settle down there, Satan.