no yelling
You have ADHD and your kids probably will too.
Jumping on the “get a fucking divorce” train and adding “stop buying prepackaged overprocessed food, feed me some damn vegetables, and stop giving me so much goddamn sugar”
If you want your children to engage in a certain behavior, you have to actively model that behavior. A kid isn’t going to do the thing if they never see you doing the thing, no matter how much you call them out on not doing the thing.
No form of abuse, dealt with it enough from bullies at school.
Encourage me to participate in a sport, or art, science projects or ANYTHING that will prevent me from becoming a depressed pos.
Go to therapy for your trauma instead of passing it on to me.
Don’t have kids, ever.
I could write a novel here honestly but I’ll keep it a bit brief:
Don’t ask your toddler which parent they’ll go with if you 2 get a divorce. If you don’t love your partner you should get a divorce. Joint custody is a thing.
Don’t “stay together for the kids” you will only cause them more mental harm in the long run.
Don’t make your young children have to be the most mature person in the room. They should be allowed to be a kid.
Be at least somewhat involved in your kids lives, if you’re not don’t be surprised when they don’t choose to involve you in their lives as they get older.
This resonates 💔
GO TO THERAPY YOU TRAUMATIC FUCKS
Lay off the legal and illegal drugs, seriously. No, hiding them in a drawer isn’t baby proofing.
Children’s medications aren’t scams, they have different doses for a reason (the reason is usually risk of overdose).
Yelling and beating a child isn’t discipline and the southern Baptist church is a terrible place to take kids.
I worked through a lot of this in therapy, but it still annoys me that I had better risk management in my teens than my parents did in their 30s.
Children’s medications aren’t scams, they have different doses for a reason (the reason is usually risk of overdose).
This will obviously very from med to med, but most stuff over the counter will be exactly the same for adults and children, just with instructions for children to take less.
For example, both children’s and adult’s liquid acetaminophen (paracetamol) are sold in the US at a strength of 160mg/5mL, and they will both have the same instructions for children under 2, children 2-11, and people 12+
Be kind, be patient, and understand that getting violent and aggressive your child isn’t discipline or parenting, it’s just abuse.
I wouldn’t tell them anything. Any changes they made to how I was raised would fundamentally change who and where I am now. While growing up was torture in many ways, it led me here, and I’m really happy with where I am now.
Not everyone is happy with where they are now so I think this question is targeted more toward those people
Don’t impose your religion on your kids or you’ll just drive them away and you’ll never get to know them as adults before the cancer kills you.
Mom, don’t sacrifice your retirement savings to keep our lifestyle the same. It’s not more important than struggling so hard in your retirement years. Your kids will get used to living with less, we’ll get over any sadness we feel over it, as long as we’re together.
Also, you have a bad case of sunk cost fallacy. You’re going to lose the house over it.
Dad, if you run away from your kids when it gets tough, they are going to be traumatized, and it will come back to bite you when you’re older. Your son especially will want nothing to do with you. Your last years will be lonely enough, don’t abandon the only people who will be there for you.
work smarter not harder
my dad was an immigrant (technically so was I but I was brought here at a young age) and didn’t speak the language. so he did manual labor jobs for a long time until he felt confident enough to try his luck at his own business. now he works much less and makes much more.
leave the manual labor for the people who can’t do anything else. if you have skills, put them to use
Who can’t do anything else? That’s pretty demeaning and rude
everybody can’t be a doctor or lawyer. you need someone to clean toilets, dig holes, and carry cement.
some people don’t have the capacity or the willingness to do anything else. i work in the underground construction industry. there are a lot of illegals working digging holes and they’re perfectly happy with it. they can’t speak english, they can’t work a computer, and they don’t want to learn.
nothing wrong with it. other people, however, move up quickly. there was a girl we hired fresh off the boat. couldn’t speak english and started off essentially digging holes for $1000 a week. she was sharp minded, however, and quickly started helping with the administrative tasks on the job sites. we gave her a raise and a promotion to crew supervisor. we gave her a laptop, she learned english quickly and eventually became a foreman and by the time she left us about 2 years later, she was making nearly 3x her original salary. she updated a lot of the systems we had and created daily reports for our clients. something we weren’t doing - she just thought of it and it was a big benefit to us.
she ended up leaving to join someone else starting up their own company. she was able to get a big picture vision of the operation. some people cannot see past their job role
we have people that have been digging holes for us for the better part of a decade. they get paid their wage, they pay their bills, and when they get home they drink their beers and are happy.
it’s just the way it is. nothing wrong with it. i think it’s rude and demeaning to try and imply these people need to somehow get a better position or move forwards.
all i’m saying is if you’re in a position where you can do more, do more. you’ll get paid better and work less. and you’ll find it’s like an upward spiral. the more you do, the more things you’ll be given the opportunity to do. then you can leverage that into better opportunities
Just break up already. Creating a tiny extra human is not going to magically fix all of your issues.
… of course that would create a paradox in which I was never born, hence not able to give her that advice … but seriously, the only reason I exist is because my mother didn’t want my dad to leave her, which is simply a shitty reason to become pregnant.
