like, if i’m feeling bad but force myself to do something, i usually feel better. how to maintain the usefulness of this advice without presenting it as ‘fuck your feelings’, in that usual arrogant right wing sort of way
I think the fuck your feelings is part of its effectivness its a reminder they dont matter in the face of the problem and you must work past them. The whole arrogent right wing thing well do u want to change your language to accomodate such people changing what words mean?
“You’ll feel better once you go through” IMO fits rather well what OP is asking for. Specially for self-advice.
[mini-rant] People, stop assuming random orthogonal shit into the left-right axis. Seriously.
I can get why “man up” would be typically right-winger due to the sex-based stereotypes. (“Rather curiously” not mentioned by anyone here, right?) However, doing it directly with the “fuck your feelings” is stupid. [/mini-rant]
I’m confused what you mean by your mini-rant. Are you asserting that “fuck your feelings” and “man up” are not right wing coded, but equally likely to come from a leftist? I think theoretically that’s maybe true but anecdotally that language does tend to be used by the right and not so much by the left, in my experience
I’m confused what you mean by your mini-rant. Are you asserting that “fuck your feelings” and “man up” are not right wing coded, but equally likely to come from a leftist?
That’s an excellent example of what I said just yesterday about sealioning in Reddit: "in Reddit for example your typical sea lion says “I don’t understand, [insert question making a straw man of your proposition]? I’m so confused…”
Drop off the sealion if you feel entitled to a serious answer.
I can assure you that my question was genuine.
I’ve seen a lot of discussion about sealioning on Lemmy and reddit over the years, and it’s never made much sense to me. If I were a right winger trying to discredit your point, it doesn’t seem like a good tactic to ask (misleading) clarifying questions. Any decent debater would use those questions to further educate potential readers on the specifics of their argument/ideology.
That being said, I would still appreciate a clarification.
Time to shine? There’s always old mate at work who has a good one-liner. “The shit jobs are the good jobs” (everyone knows it’s a rubbish job so they’ll cut you some slack) “Sometimes your the fuckor & sometime your the fuckee” “Weeeel, that’s a shitter” “Maybe kick this one back to the brains trust” And so on
“Machines are for breaking & plans are for changing”
Activating survival mode
Toughen up
Adversity is inevitable, mistakes are your greatest teacher. Learn and grow, or become your own prisoner.
One thing that I have drawn strength from repeatedly in hard times was drilled into me by a great professor in undergrad (psychology):
You cannot experience personal growth without struggling; without hardship.
Think of the people who are sheltered from the real-world and then get a full dose of it and are unable to cope and preserve like others who had to grow up early.
I remind myself amidst struggles that I will be coming out on the other side a stronger and more capable person. It helps me to accept the shit on my plate and refuse to give up.
Similar quote, from Fight Club of all places 😂 I often hear it in my head when working out:
Without pain, without sacrifice, we would have nothing.
Sounds familiar.
Suffering builds character
I thought suffering leads to the dark side?
Calvin and Hobbes has far superior writing
Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
not an exact fit, but i think about that sentence often
“Once you’ve got a task to do, it’s better to do it than live with the fear of it.”
-Logan nine fingers (Joe Abercrombie)Helped me a lot in dark times…
Say one thing for Logan Ninefingers…
My usual is: Can’t stop, won’t stop!
I tend to think of it like a personal trainer, “push, you got this, one more rep”. More positive and gender neutral.
It’s not useful as a punchy slogan, but in periods of duress I try to step outside my feelings to evaluate my goals and reactions, and then when I have done that analysis I visualize myself doing a kind of DBZ power up sequence, but kind of defensively oriented. It sounds ridiculous and I am explaining it really poorly but it seems to help
Who gives a shit what people think it means?
“Man up” is the perfect wording of it. It means take responsibility instead of waiting for someone else to do it. Historically the men are the ones who had to face full reality whereas everyone else could rely on some layer of protection.
You could also try saying “macho your nacho” which I just made up.
You know your basis is bullshit, right? Women have had to “face full reality” forever. And bear lasting consequences men never experience.
That “protection” you assume is there for them?
Mostly doesn’t exist and never did, it’s just another word for control, and often led to abuse and killing.
A woman has to ovary up every time she says no, because it so easily leads to violence.
She has to gird her tits every time she speaks up, because it’s so often dismissed.
For instance now, you going to listen?
And think?
Or just shut me down?
And make my point?
Put on your big girl panties
This was my go-to, but has since evolved to “big kid pants”
I reframe it as a reminder that something is temporary. “I only have to deal with this for x more hours/days/whatever” helps me remember that while I gotta be tough now, I don’t necessarily have to be later.
