So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

  • Margot Robbie
    14•10 months ago

    “Mate” is always a good option, I wish it’s used more universally in the States, too.

  • lobotomo
    1•10 months ago

    I typically go with something like, “howdy, folks”.

  • danhakimi
    2•10 months ago

    wait, is “buddy” gendered?

    I like to mix it up. but language is context dependent. “buddy” is a go-to of mine, and feels entirely gender neutral.

    “my people” is good for plural.

    “friend” is good as long as you have the right rhythm with it. Like, you know, in the second person, like “hello, friend.”

    “bro” obviously doesn’t work, but I have casually referred to trans friends as “broham” and they didn’t seem to mind. I don’t do it often, but sometimes mixing in a good bro pun is more fun that way… go a little over the top, call somebody brobrahk brobrahma, nobody’s going to be thinking that you’re implying gender, it’s an equally ridiculous term to call anybody by. Similarly, although context dependent, there are implicitly feminine words you can use, although some of them can be degrading in the wrong context. “Gurl,” “bitch,” and “slut” can work, as long as it’s ridiculous enough in context not to be taken seriously. I’m a guy, I’ve had friends call me these. “Gurl” might not be the best for a nonbinary friend or a trans man friend, so be careful with it.

    I don’t know, I only have a few nonbinary friends, I guess, and I mostly refer to most of them by their names.

  • @DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.comEnglish
    6•10 months ago

    I tend to use “folks” for my usual gender-neutral collective pronoun.

    I don’t think “dude” is a real issue, is it? Here in Australia, I’ll happily use mate for any gender, and I often hear other genders do the same.

    Of course, we also tend to unnecessarily shorten (or lengthen) people’s names here, and those always get used:

    • Darren = Daz or Dazza
    • Josh = Josho
    • Dan = Danno or Danny-boy
    • Adam = Ads
    • [first name] Thompson = Tommo
    • [first name] Johnson - Jonno

    Even our Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, is Albo. You get the idea… ;)