So I’ve realized that in conversations I’ll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I’ve been thinking that it’s not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

“What’s up guys?” “How’s it going man?” "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y’all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

  • Wolfeh
    20•2 years ago

    In the words of Kel Mitchell:

    I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, 'cause we’re all dudes.

  • @InputZero@lemmy.ml
    5•2 years ago

    I’ve found a lot of success using pal for the individual and folk for the group. Such as “Jesse is my pal”, or “Hey folks.”

    …oh shit. Palworlds a thing now. Don’t use pal.

  • @OneCardboardBox@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    9•2 years ago

    “What’s up dog turds?”

    “How’s it hanging, dingleberry?”

    “Nice job, Captain Hazelwood!”

    I do actually know someone who speaks like this.

  • lobotomo
    1•2 years ago

    I typically go with something like, “howdy, folks”.

  • @TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee
    44•2 years ago

    The simplest approach is to accept language is inherently gendered, and at a certain point it is exhausting to either take offense to everything or walk on eggshells.

    I’m southern, so I use y’all almost exclusively lol

  • danhakimi
    2•2 years ago

    wait, is “buddy” gendered?

    I like to mix it up. but language is context dependent. “buddy” is a go-to of mine, and feels entirely gender neutral.

    “my people” is good for plural.

    “friend” is good as long as you have the right rhythm with it. Like, you know, in the second person, like “hello, friend.”

    “bro” obviously doesn’t work, but I have casually referred to trans friends as “broham” and they didn’t seem to mind. I don’t do it often, but sometimes mixing in a good bro pun is more fun that way… go a little over the top, call somebody brobrahk brobrahma, nobody’s going to be thinking that you’re implying gender, it’s an equally ridiculous term to call anybody by. Similarly, although context dependent, there are implicitly feminine words you can use, although some of them can be degrading in the wrong context. “Gurl,” “bitch,” and “slut” can work, as long as it’s ridiculous enough in context not to be taken seriously. I’m a guy, I’ve had friends call me these. “Gurl” might not be the best for a nonbinary friend or a trans man friend, so be careful with it.

    I don’t know, I only have a few nonbinary friends, I guess, and I mostly refer to most of them by their names.