I hate the “EAT” sign. I came here for food please don’t be so demanding about it
You will eat here, and you will be happy about it! 😡
I’ll need a nixie tube sign to tell me to be happy
I can already hear the stomp clap music
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Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer
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Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper
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The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through
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Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers…all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR
You forgot the black gloves! Those are required by law.
run by four interchangeable lumbersexual white guys in their mid 20s who are having the time of their lives and one white chick in her late 20s who is just so over it.
This is so like… 2014
yeah that’s about the last time i walked into one of them places.
Lol that is so spot-on I can’t believe the parallels never occurred to me. One exception though, I really had good burgers in such a place in Haarlem / NL.
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Burgers are served on a scaffold board/shovel/roof tile
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Coleslaw is always referred to as house 'slaw.
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Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.
Eg. Triple cooked fries 4
Menu prices omit the $ sign/£ sign.
“Gourmet bacon and cheese burger - 15”
15 what? Pence?
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The best burgers are found in places that look like you have to bribe a health official to get a barely passing grade
Not just burgers, that seems to be the best food in general
see: all of Spain
An angry Turkish man who doesn’t say hello, just glares sullenly at you until you order.
The best of those that I’ve found are often restaurant/something else in the same building. Like restaurant/laundromat. Or restaurant/rug shop.
Or the absolute worst. And they did bribe a health official.
The burger is fine, but the sides are usually amazing.
If they’re good they’ll be overpriced
“We put three different kinds of rubbery bacon on top of it and you better believe we’re charging you a premium for every one”
I wouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Following aesthetic trends is just being savvy, it’s not necessarily compensating for something.
Don’t forget the smugness. These types of places always have such smug staffing, like they think they shit gold or something. It’s like bitch please, you’re demanding someone pay a day’s wage for you to fuck up ground beef. Fuck off out of here with your foofoo bullshit burger.
“In-N-Eh”
Eh-n-Out sounds better.
SED PORTTITOR
The beer menu is on a chalkboard all the way across the bar and you can’t see it.
And they’re out of the good ones.
The most mediocre dining experience (for the money) I’ve ever had was at a restaurant called “Smallwares.” Emphasis on small, it turns out. Case in point, we ordered duck breast, which cost a fair bit. I was picturing at least a fair amount, but it was the smallest smidgen slivered up with a dollop of sauce. It was the same with every dish, high prices for not much food.
Sure there were other places that had worse food. One remote dinner lacked any fresh food, but you can’t really help that when you’re in the middle of nowhere. But never have I felt like I was being fed by Famine from Good Omens.
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I’ve tried a lot of these veggie burgers and tbh at least where I’m from most of the time they kinda suck. I’ve had a few really really good ones but mostly they tasted mid.
Since the rise of Impossible/Beyond those are the only veggie burgers I can stand. If I want beans then I’ll order beans, ya know?
It can be hit and miss from my experience as well. We have a bar and grill place that has a black bean burger and the fucking patty is 1/2 lb and an inch thick. The burger tastes good but it’s way too much bean and it ends up being a chore to eat. We have a fast food place that has a black bean burger that is pretty thin but you get a lot of veggies on it and it is all pretty balanced. We have a local hipstery joint similar to the meme posted that has amazing food all around but they have a beyond burger and a black bean burger and it’s actually nice to have that option but they also always have like 3 other vegan options.
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It’s the most hit or miss thing I can get as a vegan. It’s either a really great in-house, well seasoned patty. Or just a morning star frozen thing with grease as it’s only seasoning.
And even then, you need to ask if it contains egg.
There was a place like this near my old work and my boss would often offer to pay. I naturally ordered a couple mediocre burgers and overly seasoned truffle fries with sage for some reason.
Thankfully there was a similar coffee place next door, but that’s a good thing in their case (that coffee was fire)
I’ll have the burger whose contents are stacked too high to eat comfortably and spill out when you try to bite it, please
It comes out with a dull ass steak knife stabbed through the top
Burgers need to be wider, not taller.
When I’m the King I will mandate this.
You have my vote.
No one will vote for me, I’ll take the throne with sheer bloody force.
But I appreciate the sentiment.
With a wooden stick in it half the height of the burger, if you could.
The stick is so it doesn’t fall apart on the way to the table, after that it’s your responsibility
And your choice of IPA, Hazy IPA, West Coast IPA, XPA, or lemon squeezed on ice and a dash of ginger ale.
Sure thing, is an inch-thick slice of tomato okay or did you want thicker?
Craziest Burger and shakes I’ve ever had were in Boston.
Adding Portland to my list now.
I love BBC.
Havent heard of this place though, Ill check it out
I also love BBC! Never been to Boston, though.
BBC is the best! I love their radio stations.
UK: Is there any other way?
at the point where your cutlery becomes necessary to eat your burger unless you pig-trough it you have failed at making a burger
