Brush teeth 3x day, floss 2x day, checkup 2x year
It really helps later. Like life altering
Yep. Look after your teeth folks.
You only have to brush x2 daily and floss once daily for the teeth you want to keep lol
Cleaning is a skill. Learn to like it young and never have a messy home.
And like all skills, will develop as you do it more and more. If you’re new to cleaning and you suck at it, don’t despair. Just keep trying.
Also, if you don’t have it in you or enough time in your day to do the right kind of cleaning, it’s better to do a half-assed clean today than none at all.
The best amount for me is five minutes, with a timer. When the timer goes off, I stop.
That’s my strategy for intimacy, too.
Man I wish I could last five minutes
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Personally, I like to plant gardens that help out natural pollinators in order to change the bees that I want to see in the world.
You can grow and change and be better.
Accept that you did wrong, recognize what you did and why, think about what you’ve learned, tell yourself how you’re going to do better next time.
Grow. Change. Aspire to be better.Don’t date someone through high school into college. You are young, you don’t know yourself, and you will change a lot. Also, there’s thousands of new people to meet in college and, if you’re already taken, you won’t know where a conversation after class could take you. Be free and experience life.
I can’t really speak to this personally except that from what I’ve observed in friends it seems fine for people to just end up even marrying their high school partner. Not my thing, but they seem as happy and stable as anyone else.
Either way I would highly recommend staying at least friendly with old friends / intimate partners. They provide invaluable insights later in your life.
No one can call you on your shit better than someone who’s had their fingers up your ass.
Yeah, we are still good friends. But all the opportunities we both missed because we thought we were forever is kind of disappointing. And you don’t get those college days again.
And for the downvoters - I’m not saying don’t marry your high school sweetheart but, if it’s meant to be, then find your way back to them and at least you know and it’s not just default mode.
I think people romanticise (fetishise?) relationships in university/college. People are only marginally more mature than they were in high school. I’m sure dating as an adult sucks but a relationship is a relationship regardless of how you meet each other.
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Never call Chuck Norris, Cuck Norris!
By the time the changes in your health are dramatic enough that you notice the difference, you’ve already done enough damage to warrant a loooong recovery. This goes double for mental health.
A lot of people will just write off symptoms that don’t disrupt their daily routine. “Walk it off,” so to speak. But that’s when you should have started looking for what lifestyle changes you could make to avoid anything more dire in the future.
I failed out of college the first time I ignored my anxiety and depression. This time, it led to a complete breakdown that I’m still struggling to overcomevthe symptoms of: I spend every day feeling on edge like my safety is threatened, and my gut revolts at every crumb of food. At night I twitch and can’t sleep from the stomach pain without a sleeping pill. And it’s been better this week than it was this time last month, where I hadn’t slept for >48 hours, after a week of waking up every hour nightly, and was in the worst pain I’ve ever experienced as my body started to digest itself.
It started slowly in spring, with just a panic attack once a week or so, and spikes of anxiety that caused my vision to shake too much to see… But I still perservered without much thought. The doc prescribed me anti-vert meds, said it was just vertigo induced by allergies, sent me on. I forgot about it all summer as I focused on obligations and trips and work.
And now I’m wondering if this is just my life now, if I’ll never feel relaxed again. Will the meds and therapy work, or have I done irreversible damage to my brain through inaction? Admittedly a less unpleasant thought than wondering if I’d ever be able to see straight long enough to get work done and put food on the table, or stand up without collapsing from panic and dizziness. At times I’ve wondered how much more I can take before suicide starts to sound like the better alternative.
I’m gonna keep on fighting and healing, but holy shit I wish I had just started the meds sooner.
Don’t get married unless you are 10,000% sure. People invariably get sick of each other over time. It can feel like a prison sentence. Real life is not the movies.
“Relationships take work”. Yes. Absolutely. But would you buy a car that costs $50k or more to dispose of after it’s broken down and unrepairable?
People are different. Even if 10000% perfect matches, there will be issues in between. Just give sometime.
Multiple solutions are there, like counselling. Understanding each other plays a big role. If you are parents, you gotta hell of responsibilities and less time for arguments.
It feels more like a deployment. There are mission objectives and your team is okay most of the time, but your time is never your own.
Sleeping with someone you love, when they don’t love you, is a heartwrenching experience as soon as one of you gets off. Doubly so if they’re cheating on someone.
Get a dashcam. It’s worth your whole car and everything in it.
I’ve spent too much money on “stuff”. It’s just “stuff”. Experiences last longer.
If you don’t have a dream, do what makes money. Fuck what you enjoy.
Hobbies aren’t careers and you don’t want to end up 40 having never “found” yourself, suck working in a factory.
Source: long island doesn’t have cliffs for me to drive off.
Fuck what you enjoy.
Also good dating advice, as long as they consent
Do NOT invite anyone into your home that you do not know. And do NOT save someone from eviction and have them live with you if you only barely know them.
I just went through six months of hell with two freeloading pieces of shit who never cleaned up after themselves and almost never lifted a finger to help in the house — all while getting free room and board, free food, etc.
My kid happened to be friends with a kid whose 64 year old mother (kid was adopted) got evicted and we knew them in passing for a good decade. We were the ONLY ones to help, despite them being a part of a church with hundreds of people.
I now know exactly why no one helped them, and know exactly why they were evicted.
Just don’t do it. It’s not worth the stress and the money.
Holy shit, are you me? We’re going through the same thing. A not close friend of mine got evicted so his landlord could renovate his apartment and he has been living with us for six months now, for free. He stays in his room and plays video games all day, every day. He has no job. He subsists on dry cereal unless we feed him. He barely interacts with us. He doesn’t do anything to help with chores, instead agreeing to assist and then just “forgetting”. He sleeps from 6 am to 2 pm and is up all fucking night. We only know if he’s awake because we can hear him playing games.
We told him two months ago that he needs to leave by now but he still has no job and no prospects. My wife, him, and I are in our fifties. We have a 55 year old child.
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That sounds so familiar except this was a 64 year old woman and her 16 year old adopted daughter. The mother stayed in the room we provided, with a king sized bed, an Amazon echo, a Roku flat panel 55” TV and only left to eat ramen (that was her “cereal”), poop, and take her daughter wherever she needed to go.
People are selfish assholes. Period. And I will never again waste my money or time or stress or effort or anything on anyone that I don’t know extremely well.
I’m sorry you are also going through this. If you notified by official letter to get out of your house by a specific date, according to your laws, (and have him sign it), then you are within your rights (at least in the US in every state), typically, to have the county sheriff remove them.
My state requires 60 days notice, so on July 1, we gave these freeloaders official notice to vacate by 5pm on Aug 30. They finally left yesterday. They didn’t clean anything. They didn’t even sit down and show any appreciation. And they have the gall to ask for a things they left behind after rushing to pack and leave yesterday.
I basically told the mom to go fuck herself in many words. They wasted $5000 of our money over this time, and even their religion they hold so dear didn’t force them to be good people and do the right things.
(Shouting this to everyone who would listen…) NEVER take anyone in. Unless it’s family you trust or a really, really good friend that you’ve known for a long time.
We’re not in the US and, where we live, to file for eviction we must take this to court for a judge to validate the reason for eviction. Typical eviction times range between 3-9 months. We’re going to try being such terrible flatmates that he decides to leave. No more free food or access to our toiletries. We’ll be blasting our music all day. I’m growing several konjac plants which produce flowers that smell like rotting meat.
If this doesn’t work, then we’ll take the legal route.
if you start now, it will be over quick. best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and all that. start the paperwork, move forward.
That’s a really good point and I can’t disagree. Worst case, our annoyance tactics fail and we have the court proceedings already in motion. You’re totally right.
Ouch, I’m sorry it’s that difficult. Yet another reason to never take in anyone, if living in a country that has such laws that make it that difficult to remove freeloaders and squatters.
I don’t want to be that kind of a-hole. I had the best of intentions at the start of this. But there comes a moment when after being screwed so much, it’s time to put an end to it.
Good luck to you!!
Thanks! It’s annoying now but we’ll laugh about it someday. I’m glad your squatters are gone, it gives me hope.
I’ll toast a drink to us both!
Could also try bribing them. My brother owned a condo for a bit, until he got frustrated with bad tenants. When he needed one to leave, he found bribing them the best answer, even with very little tenant protection where he lives. If you start eviction proceedings, now you have a pissed off tenant in your property who can do any amount of damage that will be expensive to repair. Instead, he’d say “I’ll give you $200 to be out next weekend” and it worked pretty well while being cheaper than legal proceedings
That’s also a great idea. We could offer him the likely cost of legal proceedings. Ugh. Never again.
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Seconded.
I had a mate who didn’t speak with his parents, lost his job and left his partner.
Took him in, rent free for 6 months. Got him on his feet, he got a new job and 6 months later he left… With my 10 year relationship. And my cat (but to be fair my ex was a vet so it made sense that she took him)
I thought he was a friend.
Wow.
How nice of him, he took the trash out as he left.
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What the fuck
Nope, not me.
Mine was a 10 year relationship and she wasn’t my wife…
Sounds like you have someone who is (or was) in your life who shouldn’t be.
I also work disability support - I have no money to throw around ;)
I had a similar experience, took a friend in for about a year after he lost his job. He just spiraled deeper into depression, I burned a ton of social capital trying to get him out of the house to make friends. He spray painted things on my patio without putting down a drop cloth, broke things inside the house, constantly complained about how crappy or small my house was, while never paying a penny towards it. He was just constantly grumpy and rude, and was completely shocked when I asked him to move out. He kept saying how it was good for him to live with me and just couldn’t conceive that it was awful for me.
Classic selfish narcissism. It feels a tad better knowing I’m not the only one to have dealt with people like that, but it pains me that you and others, who have been as selfless and giving, are treated just as poorly as my family and house was.
Don’t be afraid of therapy, especially if you have anxiety.
Red flags in relationships are serious business and don’t go away. I wish desperately I never got married, and when someone goes to the point of deliberately running over a squirrel to upset you, you’ve really hooked up with a sociopath. If your gut says go, go before you tie your finances to that of a crazy person.
This is true. The book “why does he do that” is a fascinating look into how abusive people (mostly but not always men) operate.
Goes to the point of WHAT?
Running over a squirrel when I told him to watch out for the squirrel running across the road.
The tip of the iceberg to be honest.
