Don’t. We’re all stuck on this little ball of rock together, and making each other miserable just makes life worse for everyone.

Roundup a big dick into the grass. Won’t show up for a week.

If your, erm, “friend” is planning to but has not sold your his house, then this is an even more terrible idea that asks for trouble.

If Canadian, chuck a bag of milk in his eavestroughing. The heat will rot the milk and the bag will degrade in the sun till one day it fails, releasing STANK.

Make him a cherry pie and leave it on the porch.

I heard of this funny trick where you put a bag of ice over the pilot light of his boiler. The boiler will put out gas until the ice melts and the pilot light comes back on.

And let’s justr say, that’s when the prank really ‘pops’ off

Throw wildflower seeds (non invasive) over onto his perfectly manicured yard.

Another one is a long con: befriend crows, get them to come to your friend’s house to feed. The neighbor will likely sho them away which will aggravate them. Crows hold grudges for a REALLY long time and only shit where they don’t eat, aka his yard.

Plant a single piece of bamboo in a little used area near his lawn. By the time he notices it. He will never get rid of it

Plant catnip all across your future former garden. Preferably close to the neighbour’s terrain. Make sure that it’s really easy for stray cats to reach their newest drug den.

Cat fights are bloody annoying to hear.

Sign up for a bunch of free magazine subscriptions, like Wisconsin cheese, harbor freight, etc and put his address on it. He’ll be inundated with junk mail.

I don’t know what kind of neighborhood it is but sprinkling cat food or something like that everywhere would probably attract something. Your friend could even do it to his own yard. I’d be weirded out if my neighbor moved and suddenly his yard had 25 raccoons in it.

Order some joke/fake lottery tickets. One of the ones where every ticket wins $30k. Drop one on his driveway before he heads to work in the AM for him to find. I’ve only done this to two people and they both fell hook, line, and sinker for it. One lady was calling her husband to come pick up the winning ticket to keep it safe.

If you wanna spend money, glitter mail. or if its a house, set up a flood light pointed at their house and set it up on a random timer for only at night and blast them with “security” lighting.

Attract tons of wild life with the food you need to get rid of.

Sign up for grindr and start sending people their way.

Learn the noise ordinance laws and maximize that to the fullest for a short period

Stand on the property line constantly and try looking through their windows, or watch them, if they approach, quickly leave (don’t enter their property)

Sign them up for stuff. Especially if you can find their email through LinkedIn etc.

Or, just move on since they will be out of your life regardless, don’t spend your energy on them,they aren’t worth it

Edit: Actually rather than grindr, send scalpers, leave good people out of these shenanigans

When I was a kid in a second world country, you would put yeast in his latrine. That would teach him.

Unfortunately, that is probably no longer applicable.

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