I am not advocating shoplifting, but we all did something dumb as a kid. What is your story?
Me, I was 2 years old and at Tim Hortons with my mother and a family friend. This was almost 50 years ago and Tim Hortons still had servers back then, so there was a cutout in the counter for them to go in and out. The donuts are in racks behind the counter. I had had a chocolate donut paid for by my mother, and apparently I decided I wanted another, and I was so little I nipped behind the counter when nobody was there, helped myself to another, and was only discovered when my mother noticed me polishing off a different donut. She did pay for it and everyone laughed, I was just little and it was funny. Sadly the quality of Tim Hortons donuts has gone way downhill over the intervening years, as older Canadians know.
I was like 7 and wanted some disks for a Bionicle, but I didn’t want to hold onto it the entire time while looking at toys. So I put it in my pocket… and forgot about it.
A bottle from mad dog 20/20 from a gas station. I was like 15. Me and some buddies wanted to get drunk, none of us had fake IDs, and the weed dealer who normally supplied the booze wasn’t answering his phone. 5 of us went in, my buddy Brian volunteered to be tribute, and he grabbed a case of beer and just went to walk out the door with it. While the clerk was distracted dealing with that, we shoved mad dog in our pockets, and then went to the register with sodas. Brian dropped the case of beer and booked it. It was a very smooth operation.
Didn’t steal anything else for years, until I was like 18, and we were so poor that my mom and I started shoplifting out of genuine necessity, while waiting on her disability to kick in.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Shoplifting with your kid is a different level.
Yeah, hunger genuinely sucks. A lot.
We’re okay now, though :)
Idk if it was the first but I stole a bunch of pens from one of my teachers after i found out she was fired.
Kisses?
It was a red and green plastic pencil sharpener shaped like a dachshund. You stuck your pencil in his butt. I stole it from a desk in Sunday School. I stole from God.
God wanted you to steal that sharpener. Such an unholy object does not belong in Sunday School.
Does software piracy count?
Ah who am I kidding, of course it doesn’t.
You wouldn’t download a car…
Wait… Yes I would.
I downloaded more ram, does that count???
My mom’s heart.
I hope this is figurative but I’m scared it’s literal.
Yes it’s figurative. Fortunately I wasn’t a baby Mortal Kombat contestant.
I stole so many books as a kid. The library didn’t have books on Wicca and Paganism so I stole them from Waldenbooks.
There was a candy machine at my local grocery store’s front lobby, and when I was around 8-9, my friend and I noticed that the top of the machine wasn’t attached properly. We removed the top and filled our pockets with candy. Unfortunately, I told my brother about it who told my parents who made me go apologise to the store owner
The joy and boredom of growing up in a small town
Stole some clothes from Hot Topic; had to remove the ink tags later by hand. I skipped school with my crush at the time and it was a rush.
I found a porno mag my sisters boyfriend had
Don’t remember the exact magazine, but I know there was once, when I was in highschool, where I took over my grandma’s room and one day ended up pulling out one of the bedside table drawers and beneath it was a porno mag. Asked my mom if she remembers and she doesn’t, but did say that those types of magazines were something my grandma would buy for him for some reason and wouldn’t be surprised if he hid it there to hide it from someone like me, his grandkid.
Did it have 70s bush?
In my teens, I stole some CDs. This was pre-napster. I didn’t have money to spend bit it’s hard to deny the importance of music to people, especially in those formative years. I only took 2 maybe 3 total, because the guilt of taking it a CD each time wasn’t worth it.
To give you an idea of how much guilt, I don’t like people offering me food… Because it was theirs and now it’s not. The fact they offered it means nothing. (Of course, the reverse isn’t true)
M:tG cards back in the late 90s.
There was a local comic book store called (no shit) The Funk Pit, which kept the mid tier cards stored in 3 ring binders full of those plastic card sleeves, and common cards stored in an “Inch Box” where they just charged you by the height of your stack. My friend and I would occasionally sneak a more expensive card out of the binder and slip it into our stack from the Inch Deck that cost $1.25.
There’s no way we were the first or last to do it, but I felt kinda shitty about it for years after.
I think it was something like $30 out of my brother’s wallet. Boy did I get in trouble for that one. In my defense, he had just left it lying on top of his bed’s side table! You can’t expect a five year old to not steal $30 out of a wallet just lying on a side table in a room with a closed door!
I don’t even know what I spent it on, thinking back. Probably those little styrofoam airplanes you could put together from the little store out in the country that was nearby.
I nicked a LEGO winch brick from primary school and my gran made me take it back. Not a criminal mastermind.
