I’ve mastered the ability to take any idea or thought and transform it into anxiety. Jitters McGee

  • @lazylion_ca@lemmy.ca
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    7 months ago

    I can palm a tennis ball, roll it down my arm, bump launch it with my bicep, and catch it. Freaks people out who are standing close as the ball launches right at them, but I’ve always caught it. Discovered later I could do it with anything that rolls like a microphone.

  • @RBWells@lemmy.world
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    88 months ago

    I have an uncanny ability to do things that are unpopular, that later become popular, but I can never imagine them becoming popular when I do them.

    Saw Nirvana in a crowd of 30 people before they got famous, certainly never thought they would, it was so different from what was on the radio then. Bought a shirt from them, out of their little van parked in the alley behind the bar!

    Used to wear vintage dresses from the thrift store in the 1980s, nobody around me was dressed anything like that, but later all of them got bought up by flippers.

    Had tattoos when it was remarkably unusual for a woman, like if another woman with tattoos saw me they would stop and talk to me, I never ever ever would have thought they’d be mainstream.

    Lots of stuff like that, like I’m out of synch with time but I can never capitalize on it because I don’t have the vision to understand that it will catch on!

    • @SLVRDRGN@lemmy.world
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      38 months ago

      You’re constantly ahead of your time, without foresight. So you can’t seem to capitalize on it - oh well, money ain’t everything. You’ve got experiences no money can buy.

      • @RBWells@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago

        Gardening in the last few years, sourdough and home fermentation I’ve done for 15 years or so. I don’t really think those will catch on generally because most people don’t cook but I will say a few people have asked for some of my starter lately so who knows? Tepache I’ve been making for years and I just saw some being sold in whole foods, so maybe. But more likely that happened as an offshoot of the Kombucha craze, which I was not a part of. Have been using henna to color my hair for years too, that hasn’t exploded in popularity.

        I have been late to the party on things too - mobile phones I held out as long as I could, Pokemon Go, late adopter. Electric bike. Fontaines DC.

        On the really spooky side though - I had this dining room set from the 1940s, the upholstery tore so I went to the local commercial upholstery shop and found sparkly red vinyl from the state fair rides, reupholstered them (badly) with silver trim.

        Couple years later was at Target and they had a reproduction set exactly like my old one - exactly the same chairs, covered in the exact same sparkly red vinyl I’d used. It was precisely like my kitchen table set just better execution. What the actual fuck?

        • @z00s@lemmy.world
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          38 months ago

          Target legit steals designs from lesser known artists, even here in Australia they’ve been caught doing it

          • @RBWells@lemmy.world
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            18 months ago

            I can absolutely believe that, but I don’t think I had any Target executives over, and it was before social media. And that’s really why I think it’s a useless skill, someone else could have looked at it and thought “huh, that would sell” but all I was thinking was that it would look unusual and cool and not sellable.

  • @ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee
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    8 months ago

    I can make double fart sounds by laying on my back and cupping my knee-armpits with both hands.

    Not entirely useless though; I showed this to my SO 7 years ago when we started dating and she was clearly impressed as she’s still hanging around.

  • @ouRKaoS@lemmy.today
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    118 months ago

    I won’t say “mastered” as I have lost the ability now, but back in college Pokemon endgame content gave me the ability to read braille by looking at it.

    That’s about as useless as possible.

  • Ænima
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    8 months ago

    I am better at helping others flesh out ideas and expanding on them than I am making up my own ideas. I’m good at troubleshooting problems better than most I’ve ever met. I owe both to PC troubleshooting over the last few decades (from Apple 2e and Pentium II to present). I find that people these days have tunnel vision and focus on short-term gains over long-term payoffs, often to the detriment of future productivity.

    • @Openopenopenopen@lemmy.world
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      28 months ago

      “I am better at helping others flesh out ideas and expanding on them than I am making up my own ideas.”

      I think this makes you a “force multiplier”.

      “a force multiplier is a factor or a combination of factors that gives folks the ability to accomplish greater feats than without it.”

  • Drusas
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    68 months ago

    I can pick up different objects with chopsticks in both hands at the same time. Can also eat this way.

    I didn’t put any time into mastering this, though. I just gave it a try one day and found it to be easy.

    • Bobby Turkalino
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      158 months ago

      Useless? I feel like you could get some commissions from urban restaurants to put these in their street-facing food displays

    • @thisisdee@lemmy.world
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      28 months ago

      My grandma loves miniature everything, especially cute homey things (she has sets for different “rooms”). Whenever I travel anywhere I’m always on the lookout for them cos she’d appreciate these more than the generic city/country souvenir. Always really hard to find though. These look amazing!

      • @mcmodknower@programming.dev
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        28 months ago

        I can also do it with my right hand, but i did it with my left first cause there is this german phrase “doing something with left” which means something is so easy for you, you don’t even need your dominant hand for it.

  • @radicalautonomy@lemmy.world
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    438 months ago

    I can read UPC, UPC-8, ISBN, and EAN bar codes. Tear the numbers off the bottom of the bar code, hand me the lines, and I will tell you the numbers you tore off.

    I used to work the midnight shift at a call center back in the late 90s. It was incredibly boring because we weren’t allowed to browse the internet when no calls were coming in (which was most of the time, got maybe five calls total per night). So I picked up a copy of Yahoo! Internet Life, a now-defunct technology-centered magazine. This issue had a how-to section for wacky shit like that, so I committed it to memory because wtf else was there to do?

  • @whodatdair@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    17 months ago

    I can stand on one foot and tie my shoe in the air

    I taught myself to balance on one foot by brushing by teeth on one foot for a few months lol

  • @kibiz0r@midwest.social
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    48 months ago

    I learned to open bottles using a lighter, and then taught my friends. After a while, we just started referring to lighters as “bottle openers”.

  • Tiefling IRL
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    8 months ago

    I’m really good at putting sharp objects up my nose (from sideshow)

  • @9tr6gyp3@lemmy.world
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    8 months ago

    Im a top 1% player in Rocket League after playing for 4500 hours. The skill gap between me and the best players in the game is the same gap as between me and a brand new player.

    But i will still beat 99% of the game’s population.

    • @gerryflap@feddit.nl
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      88 months ago

      Yeah same, but with like 2K hours. At some point I was Grand Champion 1 or something. I could probably win against 2 noobs without me using jump and boost, but in the few moments I played against pros I got equally clapped. It’s insane to me how much better pro players are.

      After Epic bought it the whole game slowly went to shit though. Psyonix once treated the game and its community as their baby, but it just became a soulless money printer without any decent innovation. So I barely play anymore, even though the core game is ultimately still fun.

    • @Contramuffin@lemmy.world
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      238 months ago

      Same for me, but with Tetris. I’m not the best, but I’m confident I can handedly beat the vast majority of the population. I spent most of my lockdown days just doing Tetris.

      • Tiefling IRL
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        8 months ago

        Similar on Splatoon. Before the recent rank reset I was S+6, it blows my mind that people go up to like S+20. But when the season ends, all the S+x ratings reset to S rank, and playing with normal S rank people recently reminded me of that.

        • Cris
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          48 months ago

          I was literally just about so say same for splatoon, I just hit my highest elo ever and I’m really proud of myself 🥺

          Do you play much x rank? I’m surprised to see someone refrencing their anarchy rank as opposed to x power

          • Tiefling IRL
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            8 months ago

            I don’t do too much X rank, I mostly stick to anarchy. Though I do jump into the occasional X game when I’m feeling masochistic.

            My main goal really is to master as many kits as I can and to learn their roles, and X games are not the tier for experimentation. Anarchy is a bit more lenient.

            • Cris
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              8 months ago

              Gotcha, I can see why you’d be more into anarchy then. Congrats on S+6 ☺️

    • As an 800 hour player that has to put the game down because of competitiveness making me a curmudgeon – Wow, gotta say. That’s so much work.

      Did you use the practice modes to get to be that level or did it just come to you during play?

      • @9tr6gyp3@lemmy.world
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        8 months ago
        • Tons of freeplay
        • Tons of mods/workshop map
        • Ive had some coaching
        • And I also play in an amateur league

        As long as you always play to improve, watch videos to keep up on mechanics/metas, and just immerse yourself in the game, you’ll always climb up. If you play at least 2 hours a day, you’ll be insane before you know it.

        But in the spirit of this post, you could spend your time doing something so much more productive than a video game lol

      • @Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        28 months ago

        Played 932h (around 900h actual playtime) and almost exclusively played ranked or rumble/dropshot but never casual.
        Best rank was Diamond 2 or 1 not sure anymore.
        Played it only on keyboard. No controller ever used. Gave it up as a sort of protest against the buyout and never went back.